Goodbye, Apathy
by CountingOnForever23
Summary: Edward Cullen's dull existence was destroyed after joining Volturi in the 1950's. Bella Swan, a vampire hybrid, has been in hiding from the Volturi since birth. 50 years later they both find their terrible pasts coming back to haunt them. AU
1. Missing Persons 1 and 2

Hey everyone. This idea came to me out of no where and I just really wanted to write it. I would love Reviews, I know everyone always asks that but if you could just tell me what you think quick it that would be awesome. This kida follows the storyline of Twilight but it's different. I also have a kinda Vampire Diaries thing going on with the journals, well it's mostly like the tv show. Here's the full summary:

_**Loosely follow's the storyline of twilight**_

**_A big thanks to mybeta Sarah for all her help:D_**

_Missing person's in the window Staring at me, Saying things I can't hear, _

_A missing person's in the window Staring at me,Haven't seen them in years_.

_Missing Persons 1 and 2, Onerepublic_

* * *

Edward's POV

_September 4, 2005_

_Today is going to be dreadful. As the sun sets outside my glass wall, I know this for sure. Another school year at Forks High is going to be torture. Alice says today will be a good day, but I see it differently. Trying to live as we do is becoming more and more difficult for me as the days pass. I watch every day pass me the same as before in my depressive state. I feel as if this big thing is missing in my life. I have tried to fill this void I have so many times, but I always come up empty. Most of the time I just make my existence worse. I knew that after my mistake years ago that I was done with filling it. The flocks of scared faces entering that horrid room still haunt me. It's as if I have this huge black hole is inside of me and every face, every memory, and everyone I've ever hurt makes it bigger. I would've thought that after my first experience of rebellion I would've learned something. Nevertheless, I was convinced that I could find something better then what I had. Something that would mean anything to me at all. I still ask myself every single day why I wanted to go there to find happiness. More importantly than that, I ask myself why it took me five years before I even thought of leaving. Still, knowing the fact that I had only taken the guilty and saved most of the innocent doesn't help. How could I have let myself justify it, even just in my own mind? It felt so right at the time, trying to save innocent vampires from the law. After I had came across that poor vampire who had his daughter in hiding so they wouldn't find her, I thought I had found something that would make me happy. I will never forget the day Charlie Swan was killed by the Voluri for only keeping what was important to him safe. That girls face in his memories has haunted me the most out of everyone I had ever seen. I don't think I will ever know why…_

I looked up from my journal as the pen I was holding burst in my hand. Perfect- I was covered in ink. Before I could even do anything about it, my door slowly opened reliving a very hesitant looking Alice.

She looked at the mess I made for a minute before silently going over to my closet, and coming out with a pair of pants and a long sleeved shirt for me to change into.

"Here, put this on and then meet me downstairs we need to leave," she told me, her voice as cold and dull as ice.

"Thanks Alice," I muttered, grabbing the clothes. She gave me a tight nod before walking out. I didn't need to hear her thoughts to see the hurt in her eyes. That was the thing I hated the most from the whole mess and I couldn't even bring myself to change it.

I sat back down and put my head in my hands, trying to remove all the thoughts from my mind, before getting changed and walking downstairs. Esme was standing five feet away from the stairs giving me the sad smile as I came down.

'_Have a good day son,'_ she told me, sadness clouding her thoughts.

"Thanks Esme," I whispered, giving her a tight nod.

I walked to my Volvo where a sullen Alice was now waiting in the passenger's seat with Jasper behind her in the back. Emmett and Rosalie wouldn't ride with me anymore. Not that I blamed them, they were the only smart ones in the family. Alice on the other hand, was never going give up on me. She was still convinced that one day I would be back to my normal self. Jasper wasn't happy with me for hurting Alice or any of the others for that matter. But, he would follow Alice anywhere.

I jumped in my car and pulled out of the garage quickly trying my best to ignore everyone's thoughts as I drove. I hated my gift these days, as if I needed to know how sad my family really was. The Volturi had messed me up beyond repair. I didn't even know why my family took me back. I knew when I came back that I had to distance myself from them; they didn't need to be around someone like me. As little as it made sense to them, it did to me. I was a monster something sinister; I didn't deserve their help or sympathy.

I pulled into the school parking in the same spot as last year, right next to Rose and Emmett. They of course paid no attention to me as I got out and leaned against the side of my car. Rose was just being herself in not talking to me, but Emmett was one of the most hurt by me, and at some point that hurt had turned into anger.

"Edward, do you want to come inside with us?" Alice offered breaking me out of my thoughts.

"You go ahead," I mumbled looking out at particularly nothing again.

"All right," I heard Alice mumble sadly.

'_You're such an ass.'_ Rose of course felt the need to add.

I ignored them as they walked away, leaving with a few glares. How one's life can be so screwed up is beyond me; but somehow I had managed to screw mine up so badly. I just couldn't turn my life around and be somewhat happy. I had tried everything I could think of to make it better but nothing. I had come to the conclusion that this was my life and nothing would ever change that. It was one depressing reality.

Bella's POV

_Dear diary,_

_Today is the start of a new life for me. One I'm not so sure I want. I woke with the feeling that today was going to be a bad day. But, against everything I think and feel I know I need to do this. If not for me then at least for Lisa. She seems happier now that we're trying to lead a normal life. She has risked so much for me in the past I know I have to do this one thing for her. Now that we know for sure that we're safe there is no reason for us to hiding anymore. I have to admit that it is nice to live, normally and feel free. Lisa says that this change is a good thing for us. So, I've tried to listen to her and think that maybe this small town of Forks, Washington has something good in it. Some amiable quality that is lost in its green forests and cloudy, rainy skies. Though the more I try to convince myself, the more I doubt it. I hate to be cynical, but what difference will this place make for me over any another place I've ever been? What good will come out of this change? I'm still the five four, pale, brown eyed, brown haired, half vampire I've been for the past fifty years. I still have the same interests and beliefs, the same personality. So I just can't seem to see how this will make me happier. Maybe I just can never be truly happy anymore. I've caused more bad in my life then I have well. My own father and mother lost their lives for me, so why would I deserve happiness, when they will never see another day? I just cannot see any good in anything as much as I try…_

I jumped as my alarm clock rang, losing my concentration. I put down my diary with a sigh, before I hit the off button. School would start soon and I wasn't even nearly ready. I got up from my bed throwing my purple comforter back and went over to one of my many boxes on the floor. Lisa and I had just moved in to this somewhat older house yesterday, so I wasn't anywhere near unpacked. I finally found one of my favorite blue sweaters and pair of faded jeans. I needed to blend in no matter how hot I got; so after I was dressed, I grabbed a coat and put it on before slipping on my blue converse high tops and grabbing my bag. I walked across the hall to our only bathroom and washed my face, brushed my teeth, and took in my appearance. As always, my pale face with its natural beauty stood out through my perfectly straight brown hair. With a small grimace, I looked away from the mirror and walked away. There wasn't much I could change about this face. As beautiful as it was, sometimes I wished that I could be seen without my beauty.

As I rushed downstairs, I tried to get rid of my dread and look somewhat happy for Lisa. I reached the kitchen where Lisa was sitting looking at something on her laptop. She smiled as I approached, her golden eyes sparkling as I waved and walked into the kitchen to grab an apple.

"You should really eat more for breakfast Bella," she told me, showing some of her motherly nature as she looked at me.

"You know I really would rather drink blood," I told her after taking a bite of the bitter apple. "I'm trying my best to live off human food, but this is the most I can eat for right now."

"Just looking out for you hon, I was going to make you something but I know better," She said, smiling slightly before turning back to what she was doing before.

I was glad she didn't waste her time making me breakfast this morning. I had already inconvenienced her enough. She had taken me in without even a second thought when my father died; and in my opinion, that was enough. She risked a lot to keep me safe and happy, so if anything, I owed her. However, no matter how much I told her this, she never stopped doing things for me.

Things were silent for a few minutes. When I looked over at the clock, I knew I couldn't put off leaving any longer. I threw what was left of my apple away and picked my bag up off the ground.

"I've got to go," I sighed, walking over to Lisa.

"All right, good luck hon, you'll do great," she told me, standing up and tucking some of her short brown hair behind her ear and looking nervous. "If you need anything, you know where to reach me. I will be working at the flower shop until seven tonight, so be careful in the forest until we know the place better. And don't go too-"

"Lisa, I've got it. Don't worry so much." I interrupted giving her a hug. She hugged back tightly for a minute before letting go.

"All right, just promise to call if you need anything?"

"I will, have a good day," I said giving her one last hug before running out the door.

I smiled as I entered the cab of my old red rusty pickup truck. I loved my new truck no matter how old it was. We had money, but it wasn't a lot, and I saw no point in wasting money on an expensive car when this one was perfectly fine. Besides, it wasn't like anyone in this old town could afford BMW's and Porsche's anyway. I would at least not draw any more unwanted attention to myself, which was good in more ways than one.

As I pulled away, I let my happy façade drop and let my dread come back. I was sure to be the center of attention today and that was going to be the worst. I didn't want to be talked about and be the one that everyone's eyes would follow. This was the one down side to the beauty that I hated- I was someone who'se only wish was to fade into the background and be invisible.

The school itself looked like a bunch of matching houses, built with maroon-colored bricks. I felt like I was going to throw up as a shiny Volvo passed me as I went to park in an open space. I closed my eyes as I turned off my truck and it backfired.

Great, that was just the thing I needed.

I took a few seconds to calm myself before I grabbed my bag and got out of the car. I looked down at the pavement in front of me as I walked trying to ignore the stares I was getting. My idea of walking straight over to the office at the time seemed possible but of course, that was ruined when I heard a voice call out in my direction.

"Watch out!" The male voice yelled right before a football came flying at me. I could have caught it but I was staying inconspicuous. I moved back a bit trying to make my movements look jerky, and let the ball fall at my feet.

"I'm so sorry," the boy that the voice belonged to said as he ran over to me. His voice dropped a bit and his eyes getting glossy when he actually saw me. This boy had light blond hair and blue eyes. He was, if anything, cute.

"Um, it's all right." I muttered giving him a small smile trying to walk away, but another boy came up beside him.

"Mike, I told you that you couldn't catch it," The boy said not yet looking at me. This boy wasn't cute like boy named Mike was. He was more lanky, his black hair was slicked back making it greasy looking, and his skin was in need of some care. When he looked at me, his eyes widened and his mouth popped open with an audible snap. I held back my laughter the best I could but couldn't help the amused smile that formed on my face.

Mike seemed to be coming around; he looked like he could breathe now at least.

"You m-must be t-the new g-girl," he stuttered, his hand shaking a bit as he held it out to me. He cleared his throat before talking again. "I'm Mike, and this is Eric."

"Bella," I told him, shaking his hand. Poor Eric was still staring at me opened mouthed.

"It's nice to meet you both, but I'm running late so if you would excuse me," I said when he let go of my hand. After getting no response from the two staring boys, I walked away quickly but not quick enough to not hear when Eric broke the silence.

"Bye Bella," he whispered breathlessly when I was about five feet away making me laugh.

My first class of the day was English. Getting my schedule was easy, though I was late to class but at least I hadn't had to run into anyone on the way here. The downside to it was that all heads turned to me when I entered.

"Ah, nice of you to join us Ms.?" the tall balding man said not looking happy.

"Uh, Swan," I mumbled awkwardly before clearing my throat to speak louder. "Isabella Swan."

"Well Ms. Swan, please take the open seat in the back. And don't be late to my class again," He told me giving me a hard glare before looking back down at the book in front of him. I bit my lip not moving as several students laughed, and then made my way to the seat. I'm sure a faint blush could be saw on my face, one of my least favorite things about me. The lovely teacher who I discovered was named Mr. Rice came over and gave me a book list while I gave him the slip I was told to give all my teachers. The whole exchange was made in silence and sort of awkward because of everyone stares. The class seemed to drown on and on, and staring at me was popular among everyone. I looked down ignoring it all the best I could, praying for my next class to come soon.

When I walked outside to get to the next class, it was pouring out. With a long sigh, I pulled my hood over my head, and stomped off towards building six. As I was walking, I caught some odd scents that shouldn't have been in a high school. I had not smelled them on my way to class, and the scents were not strong, probably from the rain. I knew human scents, and these were not. It smelled as if vampires had been around here. I stopped for a second, moving out of the way so kids could get through. I inhaled the air around me but I could not catch the smell it getting any stronger, which meant that they probably weren't close by.

It was odd; no vampire would be here unless they had the same diet as Lisa and I. But, we had never met anyone like us, and its lightness made me think that maybe they were just passing through. As bell went off, I started to class again, trying to forget about my new discovery.

The next few classes went ok. I met a few people and they all seemed nice. Jessica, a girl I met in Trigonometry and Spanish offered for me to sit at her table, I agreed. I was trying to fit in so this was a good thing. The thing about me was that I was not as scary as regular vampires were. People felt normal around me, which was an advantage in this case. They also didn't smell as tempting to me as they did to regular vampires as well.

I got some pizza and a coke for lunch, hoping I could get it down all right. I didn't mind human food but it still was hard for me to eat it alone without blood. That was why I was planning to go hunting.

Jessica was talking happily between me and a nice girl named Angela. I nodded occasionally to make her think I was still paying attention though I had really lost interest a while ago. It was then, as the air conditioner started to blow, that I smelled the scents I had earlier, except this time, there were more different smells and they were stronger. I started looking around quickly trying to be inconspicuous so the people at my table wouldn't notice, and that was when I saw them.

There were six of them all sitting at a small table in the corner. They all had pale skin and I could already tell they were amazingly beautiful. To human eyes it would look like they weren't talking but _I _could tell they were. They were talking to low for me to hear, as much as I wished otherwise. Their gold eyes were a striking difference. There was a blond boy and girl, the girl was stunningly beautiful even for a vampire. The shortest one at the table reminded me of a pixie. She had unique short spiky black hair, and was smiling at something the blond boy said. The one that stood out the most was huge and scary, but the smile on his face and his curly hair brown hair made him seem innocent in a way. The last boy was the one who took my breath away. His untidy bronze hair stuck out from his strikingly beautiful face. He looked less muscular then the other two, but just about as tall as the blonde one. The one thing that held me the most though was how unhappy he looked. He was staring down at his uneaten lunch, not involving in the others conversation.

I felt my breath catch as he looked up and started saying something. Then his gaze turned to me. I should've looked away from him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I watched as his face turned down in confusion, and then to my surprise he looked as if he had seen a ghost. I watched as he said something at vampire speed to the others, and stormed off giving me on last look, that for some reason was a menacing glare.

* * *

Please Review:D **Disclaimer:** **I don't own anything! No copyright infringement is intended**


	2. Prodigal

Thanks for all the adds guys! I was so excited when I looked at my emails. Also thanks to the two people who reviewed :D I hope you like this next chapter it's my favorite. Also sorry for all the Onerepublic songs lol. I love them! But I have other bands songs to use too lol. I'm going to try and get the third chapter done today, but I've got some Christmas stuff to do. If you get a chance when you're done reading review and tell me what you think!

**A big thanks to my beta Sarah! My main fan fic site is MyVampFiction. You should take a look at the blog and also check out the fan fiction site. It's awesome:D **

_We say good-bye  
I turn my back  
Run away, run away  
So predictable  
Not far from here  
You see me crack  
Like a bone, like a bone  
I'm so breakable_

_Prodigal,Onerepublic_

* * *

Edward's POV

_That stupid new girl is so pretty. She's getting all the guys attention. How am I going to get a boyfriend now?_

_I wonder if the new girls single. She is so hot!_

_Mike, don't make a fool of yourself. She's only a few feet away, just say hi. She seemed to forgive you earlier._

_Just say, 'hi Bella, you remember me don't you? I'm the one that didn't almost hit you with the foot ball. I was the one throwing it though'….. Man I'm so stupid!_

_This is going to make me so popular. All eyes are on me. Bella is my ticket to popularity._

_Bella seems really uncomfortable. I feel bad for her. I would hate to have all this attention._

I tried to rid my head of everyone's thoughts as they got more annoying. The whole school had been abuzz with the new girl's arrival. Isabella Swan was her name, though she liked to be called Bella. That name was familiar to me somehow, but I had no idea where I had heard it before. I had to admit that she was very beautiful, but just like her name she looked kind of familiar. I shook it off though and tried not to let it bother me, even if I did know her I wasn't going to say anything.

With a sigh, I turned to stare out the window, my arms under my head. I just wanted to block everyone out, just a moment of peace that would be an enough to keep me going through the day. Then I could be alone where I wouldn't hurt anyone anymore. Thoughts of that awful room came back to me as I sat there. The screams of people as they entered, realizing that they were to die. I could never do anything to save them. The sound of _their_ laughter as they watched the terror on the humans faces. Those red ruthless eyes…

"Edward, stop!"

I looked up as Alice's hand went on top of mine. I was about to snap the table in half and I didn't even realize it. I slid my hand out from under hers as quickly as possible and looked down, trying to ignore her hurt thoughts.

"You idiot, that new human is watching us! What do you think would've happened if she saw you break our table in half!?" Rosalie yelled in vampire speed as I rolled my eyes, still not looking up.

"Do you guys smell that?" Alice asked suddenly sounding confused. I looked up then and when I did my eyes connected with the most beautiful pair of chocolate brown eyes. I didn't know what held me there but I couldn't look away. The smell Alice was talking about hit me at that moment and I knew it wasn't human. It was a captivating scent; it was a line between the most enchanting floral smell and the most delicious food. Though it had a sweet note, almost like a vampire's scent.

I tried to concentrate on the scent but I couldn't; I felt helpless in _her_ gaze. I studied the way her brown hair framed her face perfectly, the way her eyebrows were furrowed a bit. There was a faint pink blush on her cheeks only making her even more beautiful. Those eyes though were the thing that stuck to me most, and that's when it hit me. The memory of Charlie Swan's daughter came to my mind. The little girl in the memory was much younger but there was no doubt that it was the same girl. She had the same face except it had been younger then, the same hair, and the same enchanting eyes filled with wonder. The name said it all- Isabella Swan was Charlie Swans vampire hybrid daughter. I was sure my horror could be seen on my face as I made the connection. The room was starting to feel small, everyone's thoughts buzzing in my head too fast and too loudly.

"I'm leaving." I growled to my family, before grabbing my stuff and running as fast I could without causing notice out of the cafeteria.

I ran through the empty parking lot and over to my Volvo where I lost it. I put my hands on the hood for its support as my knees went weak. It was like my past was coming back to haunt me. Everything I had felt horrible for over the years was coming back in one quick swell. She was not supposed to be here. I had tried to save her father and I couldn't. I had failed and joined the Volturi, trying to make good in this world. And in doing that I had lost myself, everything I believed in. I was no so far gone that I was a hopeless case. I didn't know who I even was anymore. All that girl did was bring back horrible memories that I never wanted to relive again. This just couldn't be happening! Any bit of sanity I had built up in the last few years was gone now, from one girl.

I let out a growl of frustration, and slammed my fists into the hood of my car as I heard Alice coming up beside me.

"Edward," Alice said sympathetically, putting a hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

As much as I wished to give in and talk to her, I couldn't. All these memories only made things worse. I shook her hand off and moved across from her putting at least putting five feet between us.

"Nothing Alice, just leave me alone," I snapped.

"Edward, why can't you talk to me anymore? I can help you; we all can help you! Just tell me what's going on!" she said calmly, though I could tell she was getting upset. She stepped towards me making me jump back more.

"I can't, Alice! You don't want to know!" I yelled at vampire speed. "I don't deserve your help or anyone else's! I've dug my own grave and now I have to live with what I've done!"

"Edward, you know that's not true-"

"Yes, it is, Alice! I can't be here anymore!" I interrupted going over to the driver's side of my car.

"And where are you going to go?!" she yelled, slamming my door shut when I opened it. I hissed at her but she made no move to leave me alone.

"You can't run away from everything! You were never one to run from your problems, like you do now! Please just talk to me, I want my brother back."

There would've been tears in her eyes if she could cry and I couldn't help but be stung by her words. But there was nothing I could do about.

"Alice, that guy you knew years ago is never coming back, so just give up," I said sternly, lightly pushing her out of my way and getting into my car. She stared at me for a second, before grabbing my door as I was about to close it.

"I know that's not true. He's there and I see him every day. You just hide away from everything and everyone. For once just tell me," she said, looking desperate. Something I was sure I had never seen Alice look like before.

"Fine," I sighed feeling the pain come back as I began to talk. "That new girl is not human."

"What are you talking about Edward?" she asked trying to stay calm

"She is half human and half vampire. She's of no danger to us, or at least I don't think she is. Is that enough information for you?" I said between my teeth barely able to control myself.

Alice nodded gravely before trying to find the girls future. I watched as she ended up with nothing.

_I can't see anything! Can you hear her?_

"I haven't tried," I admitted, getting irritated.

_Try, _she urged.

I closed my eyes not wanting to do this at all, trying to focus. I searched all around the school but couldn't find anyone who could see her, and then I heard a door slam nearby. I opened my eyes, and immediately I saw her. She looked scared no doubt from us.

"Do you hear that?" Alice whispered. I looked over to see her eyes on the girl as well.

I concentrated for a moment until I heard a sound that was like fluttering bird's wings.

"I think it's her heart beat," Alice whispered again. I looked at the girl again as she got into her car trying to hear anything from her mind but nothing.

"I can't hear anything Alice," I growled in frustration. As I watched her pull away the flood of memories hit me again and I knew I had to get out of the parking lot. "Alice, I need to leave now."

_Ok meet us at home after we get back from school we all need to talk. And this time, you're not getting out of it. I don't understand why this has upset you so much._

"Its better you don't know, and I am not coming home for this!" I yelled glaring at her.

_Yes, you are, Edward! Then you can go where ever you want. This is for our family, and for once, you're going to act like you're actually a part of it._

She left without another word leaving me even more annoyed then before. I let out another growl, slamming my door and taking off as fast as possible. I let the memories flood back to me as a drove not being able to suppress them. I didn't want this; I wanted to forget about the past as much as possible. I couldn't deal with this. It was too much. Alice was right about one thing, and that's what caused the most pain. I was never like this, when I had become a lifeless figure everything I used to be was thrown out the window. And I hated it. I could never find the strength in me to change it. There was nothing worth changing for, and I was too far gone for anyone's help. Just as I guessed today was dreadful.

Bella's POV

This could not be happening. After _he _left, fear had taken over. I realized that I was among five vampires who knew nothing about my situation. I was something unknown; whether they drank animal blood or not, their kind didn't take to me well. I left my table with the excuse of not feeling well and ran out, ignoring the looks people were giving me. As I made my way to my car I felt like someone was watching me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that _he _and the short spiky haired vampire were watching me. I tried not to freak out, but my heartbeat doubled and my breathing sped up as I moved faster. I all but jump into the cab of my truck, making sure they hadn't moved. The girl was still staring at me with a blank expression, but _he _looked mad, frustrated, and tortured at the same time. I couldn't understand the first two, but the last one was a mystery.

I pulled out, hoping that they wouldn't follow me and drove towards the main part of town. I kept looking for them as I drove, but nothing. I picked up my phone and hit number two on my speed dial for Lisa's number. It rang a few times as I silently prayed for her to answer. After about the eighth ring it turned over to voice mail. Of course, she told me to call if I needed anything, but wasn't there when I really needed her. I threw the phone down in frustration, and pressed down on the gas pedal, going at least twenty over the speed limit. That was something very unusual for me. I kept a close eye on things around me, watching and listening for anything around. Once I hit the main part of the old town, I scanned all the store's looking for a Lily's flower shop. I drove until I almost hit the end of the town and found a small little shop made of gray bricks, with a beautiful display of flowers in the windows.

I parked as close as I could, ignoring the loud bang my car made, and ran out. Still paying attention to everything around me. I could see Lisa in the window looking at me with worry as I ran up the stairs and over to her. She came over to me and put her hands on my shoulders so she could get a good look at me.

"Bella, what's wrong? You look scared," she whispered so the old lady behind the counter wouldn't hear.

"We have a problem," I whispered urgently.

"Lisa, dear what's wrong?" the old woman behind the counter asked stepping towards us.

"Oh, it's nothing," she lied, putting her arm around me and turning us so we were facing her. "My niece isn't feeling well."

The old woman gave me a sympathetic look while I tried my best to look somewhat weak. Though, I didn't really need to fake that too much. I felt like I might faint at that point.

"That's too bad. You don't look well at all," she said brushing some of her gray hair that had escaped her bun out of her face. She walked towards me, only reaching my shoulders and held out a frail hand to me, which I took softly afraid I might hurt her.

"I'm Lily by the way, the owner. You're Aunt as told me about you," she told me, smiling at bit, before looking at Lisa sternly. "Now take this poor girl home. I can handle the shop for the rest of the day. Feel better dear." She smiled at me again letting go of my hand and walking back to her counter.

"Are you sure, Lily?" Lisa asked hesitantly more out of kindness then anything. I could tell that she knew something was wrong and this was the only way we could get privacy.

"Of course, if you need to have tomorrow off as well just let me know," Lily said smiling at us before going back to what she was doing before.

"Meet me outside," Lisa hissed under her breath.

I nodded and turned and walked out the door and over to my truck. Lisa walked out minute later, walking as fast as possible without causing notice.

"Bella, you're scaring me what's going on?"

"There are other vampire's here," I said, swallowing hard as I felt the fear come back and her face mirroring mine. "They're like us, but you know that no one takes well to me. And the one boy, just the way he looked at me." I stopped as his face came back to me, I felt weak again. I stepped back a bit pushing my back up against the front of my tuck for support.

"Bella," Lisa gasped running to my side, but I ignored her help. I needed to tell her what happened.

"He looked horrified, like he had seen a ghost," I breathed. "I don't think the others knew what was going on, but that's probably not true by now."

I looked up at her seeing her scared reaction, but as soon as she saw my eyes on her, it was gone.

"Are you ok to drive?" she asked calmly for my sake I was guessing. I nodded in response not trusting my voice anymore.

"All right, let's drive home and talk about it there," she said helping me get steadied and into my truck.

"It will all be ok." She tried to assure me, but I could see that she wasn't as confident as she wanted to be.

"Yeah," I mumbled playing with my keys.

"See you at home," she said before shutting my door, and making her way over to her black Nissan Altima.

I listened closely for anything unusual around me before turning my truck on and pulling away from the curb. Just when I thought we were safe for once this had to happen. The worst part was that it was my fault again. Once again, I was ruining what Lisa wanted.

Edward's POV

'_Great, Edward's here.' _Rose thought sarcastically as I approached the house. _'Thanks for keeping us all waiting.' _

_So much more pain radiating off him than usual. I wonder what happened. _Jasper thought making roll my eyes. That was why I didn't want to come back.

_I told them you were coming, though they didn't listen to me. You should really try to be on time next meeting. _Alice cheerful thoughts told me making me snort towards the end. Next time? There would never again be a next time.

_Nice of you to join us Edward, Alice said there is something important you have to tell us all. _Carlisle thought calmly, I could see the happiness that he was hiding in his mind. Another reason why I didn't want to do this. It brought them all hope, and for me even more pain.

_It's nice that they all seem to think he's back. I don't even know why they are all happy about it; he'll just go back to his normal self soon. _Emmett thought, sadness coming from his mind. He was right though, that was the cold hard truth of the matter.

Esme was too happy for words or thoughts, just because I was showing up. This was killing me. I cringed away from the front door knob as some of her hidden thoughts hit me.

_My boy might be back! I've missed him so much. What I would do to see him only smile again._

This was why I shouldn't be there. I was about to turn around and make a run for it but the door opened and Alice grabbed my arm and pulled me in.

_Did you forget that I could've seen this happening Edward? I knew I was going to have to force you in here. And look at that you aren't even putting up a fight! _Alice had a smug smile on her face as she dragged me in.

I pulled back from her and got free, glaring at her. I was about to scream at her when I felt Esme's hand touch my shoulder. I hadn't even allowed this in so long that it felt so foreign to me, yet so comforting. I felt myself stiffen though I really didn't want to. But I knew I couldn't allow her hope. I knew that out of all of Esme's kids, I was most important to her. I was her first son, and even though I had hurt her time and time again she still loved me the same. So I couldn't hurt her again. This was too much.

_Edward if you leave now you'll only hurt her worse. _Alice informed me giving me a pleading look.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my forefinger and my thumb trying to calm myself. I let my stiff shoulders relax hearing Esme's happiness as she did so. I hated Alice so much at this moment it wasn't even funny.

"Edward, Alice, let's go join everyone else," Esme said not even able to hide the excitement in her voice.

Alice squealed and grabbed my hand making me jump away from her. She just rolled her eyes at me and took it again leading me into the dining room where everyone was seated. I glared at her as she pushed my old seat out for me, right next to Carlisle.

_Don't be a baby Edward._ Alice rolled her eyes again, and I gave in with a long sigh. I kept my gaze down feeling everyone's eyes on me, trying to ignore all their thoughts.

Carlisle cleared his throat making me look up at him. "I believe Alice said you had something you needed to talk to us about?"

I nodded looking around the table for the first time. Alice and Esme were beaming, Rosalie was glaring at me, and Jasper was just sitting their shaking his head agreeing with me at least that this was a bad idea. And Emmett was tracing random circles on the table not looking at anyone.

"Oh my god, Edward, we aren't going to bite you," Rose snapped adding in her thoughts; _well I might still consider it. _"Just tell everyone, so we can move on with our day, and you can go back to sulking!"

Part of me wanted to fight back like I used to, but I couldn't allow myself to do that.

"Thank you Rose," Carlisle said in a disapproving tone, making her scoff and cross her arms. "Please, Edward, go ahead."

"Um, well the new girl at school isn't exactly human," I mumbled, looking down again. "The smell Alice was talking about today was her scent. She is half human and half vampire."

I let that sink in for a minute before looking up again. All eyes were on me; even Emmett's.

"What do you mean Edward?" Carlisle asked breaking the silence.

"Well," I began closing my eyes as I let the memory of Charlie Swan come back to me. "Her father was a vampire and her mother human. As impossible as is sounds, I know for a fact it's true."

I opened my eyes when I finished waiting for the questions to flood in. Jasper was the first one to speak.

"That is impossible, have you gone so insane that you're delusional now?" Jasper voiced glaring at me.

"Jazz he's telling the truth," Alice defended, putting her small hand on Jaspers arm. "I saw her, and she's not human. Her heart beats much too fast to be one, and her scent is too sweet. It's like a vampire's. I can't see her, and Edward can't hear her either. It might be like her power or something. All the facts are there, I know he's telling us the truth."

"Truth or not how do we know she's not dangerous?" Rose asked her thoughts turning into to worry.

"Rose is right, if this is some weird hybrid thing how do we know she's not a danger to us?" Jasper asked his thoughts becoming protective as he thought of Alice.

"She isn't, or at least she wasn't at the time." I explained getting a few curious glances. "I have reason to believe she isn't anymore. Besides she was terrified today when she walked out of school. She's more scared of us than anything.

"That's not what we're saying though Edward, she's some weird hybrid thing. We don't know what she'll do," Rose said glaring at me.

"This is amazing. If she does have a power, that's even more incredible. This changes many things I've thought about our world," Carlisle said nodding to himself lost in thought at the new discovery of a vampire hybrid.

"So do you think she has someone with her? She must be a part of the aunt and niece that just moved into town," Esme asked interested as well.

"Guy's, hello? What does this have to do if she's dangerous or not?" Rose said getting frustrated.

"Edward seems to think she's not. I believe him. She would've been caught by the Volturi already if she was dangerous," Carlisle said his mind still filled with thoughts. I stiffened at the Volturi's name, and looked down again gripping the sides of my chair as hard as I could without causing damage.

Rose and Jasper were still vexed with the situation; no one's answers seemed to make it better.

"Edward, how do you know all this?" Carlisle asked making my head snap up as my hands crushed the chair I was sitting on into pieces.

"I can't answer that," I growled standing now in front of everyone's shocked faces trying to calm myself. "I'm sorry I just can't talk about that,"

"It's alright we understand," Esme said gently coming towards me, but I put my hand out in front of me.

"Please don't," I whispered, closing my eyes trying to ignore the hurt in her thoughts.

"Edward, I really don't get why you can't tell us, or why you ran out of school today?" Alice said softly.

"I just can't all right?" I snapped getting angry again. This must've been her plan all along. For me to come here and then spill all my problems out.

"Are you hiding something," Rose accused harshly.

"Please just drop the subject," I said between my teeth, losing control with each word. "If you want to know any more go give her a visit."

"That's a good idea, Edward, thank you," Esme said trying to calm everyone.

"Sure great idea, we'll ask her as she kills us." Rose hissed making me even angrier. I did not need this.

"Rosalie sh-" I began to yell, but Emmett stood up throwing his chair back.

"Rose, leave Edward alone!" He hissed taking us all by surprise. "What, do you think that he's so far gone that he'll lie to us like that? You know that's not true and even if it was we can handle ourselves."

He turned from her and looked at me glaring at me again.

"And you; just leave already and wherever you want to go," he said harshly, pointing towards the door. "You've already gotten very one's hopes up by now. I know better than to believe that you actually care enough about us to be normal for us again."

"You don't know anything," I hissed back glaring right back at him, turning and walking away.

_Edward, don't leave like this please, _Alice thought as she ran after me. I couldn't take it anymore; this was all her fault. I turned around and glared at her, feeling everyone's eyes on me still.

"Thank you so much Alice," I said making my voice as hard and cold as possible. "What did you think that one little talk was going to change everything? You can't push everyone to do what you want them to. This is how things are now, accept it and move on."

After I spat the last part at her I turned and opened the front door slamming it so hard it broke. I could hear Alice's and Esme's tearless sob's as I walked through the door, and Carlisle's and Emmett's hurt. Emmett was close to crying himself; it was taking everything he had not to.

I was just about ready to get into my car when Jasper came out and pinned me up against it.

"You have no right to talk to her like that!" he hissed pinning my arms harder to my sides, his eyes losing their gold as anger took over.

"Then next time tell her to mind her own business," I growled, finding enough strength to pull on of my arms free. I made my hand into a fist and punched him in the faces as hard as I could, knocking him to the ground. I heard Alice, Rose, and Esme's screams. Ignored them and climbed into my car. Forgetting the screams and thoughts that were being yelled at me. Esme's were pleas for me not to leave, along with Carlisle's. Rose's and Jasper's were out of anger, Alice's was out of horror and finally Emmett's were disappointment.

_Man, I don't know what happened to you, but I do know that this isn't you. If you come back this time, you come back for good. I don't want you to do this to them again. None of us can handle it. It won't be Jasper trying to kick your ass next time, it will be me. If you don't come back, enjoy your life. I hope you find what you're looking for. _

His thoughts faded out as I drove farther away. As I hit the express way I felt tearless sobs wrack my body.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Review if u have the time!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! No copyright infringement is intended!**


	3. Help I'm Alive

**Sorry it took me a few more days then I said to get this done. I am only going to update my storys on Fan Fiction Net, so because of that I no longer have a beta.I did this chapter myself, so I hope everything is alright and my grammar isn't too bad. If you find that it is a mess, I would appreciate it if you told me so I can start looking for a new one. **

**Anyways please read the bottom Authors Note for info on updates!! **

**Happy Reading!**

**_I tremble_**  
**_They're gonna eat me alive_**  
**_If I stumble_**  
**_They're gonna eat me alive_**

**_Can you hear my heart beating like a hammer, beating like a hammer_**  
**_Help, Im alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer_**

**_Hard to be soft, tough to be tender_**  
**_Come take my pulse, the pace is on a runaway train_**  
**_Help, Im alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer, beating like a hammer_****  
**

_**Help I'm Alive, By Metric**_

**Goodbye, Apathy. Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!!! No Copyright infringement is intended!!!!**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

The drive home was nerve-racking to say the least. I couldn't stop shaking, and my imagination was getting the better of me. I had all these different scenarios playing in my head of them coming and killing us in so many different ways, that it made my head spin. I knew the possibility of them letting us go was slim, so much so, that I was positive that my fast-paced heartbeats were numbered. I couldn't see anyway out. Even if they did let us live, that didn't mean that they wouldn't tell the Volturi about me.

I felt a shiver run down my spine as I thought of the Volturi. They were such awful creatures; how anyone could want to bow down to them was beyond me, but it had happened before, and my main fear was that it would happen again.

We reached the house in no time, running in quickly with caution, in case they were near by.

"Bella," Lisa began, once we were inside. "I think we need to find them before they find us. Maybe if we explain this can all be handled decently."

"I agree." I whispered, trying to keep my calm façade.

"If they are like us," she said more to herself then me. "They will be more reasonable then others. I think we should be able to explain ourselves."

"And if it doesn't turn out that way, I'll go back into hiding by myself." I added, standing up so we could leave. "You can create a cover story as to why you were with me and live in peace like you've should've been doing for all these years."

"Absolutely not Bella!" She shouted halting my quick steps to the front door. "I am going to leave you by yourself. If it doesn't work out then I will come with you and we will both go into hiding again."

"Lisa, you have sacrificed too much for me!" I defended, holding back my angry tears. "You can run away from this mess while you have the chance, and be happy! I can tell already that you're much happier trying to live a normal life here! I can't let you walk away from what you want, it's not fair!"

"Bella," She sighed walking over to me, trying to stay calm. "You are like the daughter I never got to have. I knew what I was getting into when I told your father I would help you. I am allowed to make my own choices, and I want to help you."

I closed my eyes and let out a frustrated growl. "Lisa-"

"Bella, you are not going to fight me on this one." She interrupted, "Now let's go."

"Lisa, please just listen to me for once!" I begged as I ran outside after her.

"Bella, stop!" She growled, "We have more important things to worry about now. I am sorry that this has to happen again, but there's nothing we can do right now but try and stop it. Let's just try and get through this before we talk anymore, please?"

As much as I wished to deny she was right, I knew I had to give in. For there were more pressing issues to deal with at the moment.

_

* * *

_

Dear Diary,

_Just as I thought this morning, this change is not a good thing. I'm currently sitting in the passenger's seat of Lisa's car, as we try to find the house of the vampires who are going to kill us. We've been searching a while now, and finally caught some scents outside of the town. I'm not as scared as I was earlier today, because I know I must be brave for whatever is to come. I can't change whatever is going to happen now; and if I am going to go down, I've promised myself it won't be without a fight. I'm usually a very none violent 'vampire', but if I can find away to make them leave Lisa go, I will do whatever it takes. And even though we might possibly be meeting our death, his face keeps popping up in my mind. I can't help but think of the horrified look on his beautiful face and wonder why I had made him so upset. It just doesn't-_

"Bella, I would appreciate it if you would put that thing down and help me out here." Lisa said pushing the cover of my diary down over the pages.

"Sorry," I apologized, looking down on the blood red cover of my diary.

"From what I can tell, the scents are getting stronger around here so can't be much farther."

"I'm really sorry about all this," I whispered trying to hold in the tears forming in my eyes.

"Oh, Bella," she sighed. "It's not your fault, in fact; I'm surprised that we've lasted this long without problems. You are my little danger magnet after all."

I smiled a bit at her joke, but didn't reply for fear that I would break down if I spoke.

After a few more seconds of silence, Lisa took a sharp turn into a small clearing that lead into the forest.

"I think this is it," she whispered, gripping the steering wheel tighter.

It only took a moment, before I could hear what sounded like shallow breathing beyond the small stretch of dirt we were driving on. They were waiting for us.

I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest as the trees parted, and a beautiful white house appeared in an open clearing. The beauty and sweet sounds surrounding the area was like something out of a fairy tale. The house which must've been very old, was completely restored. The only part that looked to have remained from the original structure were windows and doors, giving the house a certain charm. The beautiful clearing around it was amazing; the open area was completely surround by the forest, the mountains on the horizon could be seen from above the tress. I could also hear a stream flowing in the distance, and a few animals walking around.

But my thoughts of fairy tales soon turned to horror stories as I saw six vampires standing on their front lawn. Two of them I didn't recognize, but I did take notice to that fact that _he _wasn't standing there with them. I took a deep breath as the car stopped and as I opened my door, prayed that Lisa and I weren't taking our last breaths.

We walked forward, stopping about half way towards them, standing our ground though we might die.

As I looked into the faces of my soon to be killers, I couldn't help but feel that they belonged in the fairy tale more then a horror story. The two that I didn't know were in front of the group, the male was very handsome; he had blonde hair and a youthful look in his features, making him look no older then twenty-five. The way he seemed to hold himself though made him seem very wise, and much older. His arm was wrapped around the waist of the woman next to him, whose elegant beauty made her look as if she was a movie star from the twenties. She had long caramel colored hair that accented her heart shaped face, and a kindness about her that made her seem motherly.

The blonde man stepped forward, walking towards us confidently.

"My children told me we had a new family here in Forks." He spoke pleasantly, smiling as if he were greeting old friends. He stopped right in front of us and held his hand out to Lisa, who took it hesitantly.

"I hope this isn't a bad time, as I'm sure you might already know we have some explaining to do." Lisa said calmly, hiding any fear. "I'm Lisa, and this is Bella."

"Carlisle Cullen," He smiled letting go of her hand and holding his own out to me, looking somewhat apprehensive.

Wearily, I reached my hand out to his which he shook with the slightest presser.

"It's nice to meet you Bella." He said sincerely, eyes gleaming in what could only be described as wonder.

The woman stepped forward then, stopping at Carlisle's side smiling warmly at us as he wrapped his arm around her again.

"This is my mate Esme." He introduced, smiling fondly at her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Esme smiled reaching out to shake both of our hands.

The second Esme was done with her exchange, the short spiky haired girl that was with _him _in the parking lot earlier, walked forward towing the blond hair boy from the cafeteria right behind her.

"I'm Alice; it's so nice to meet you both!" She exclaimed happily, taking me off guard as she pulled me into a hug.

"I hope we become great friends." She whispered before she let me go and shook hands with Lisa.

The blond boy stood behind Alice, awkwardly, watching the exchange. Alice giggled when she saw his face, and wrapped her tiny arms around his torso.

"This is my mate Jasper," She told us smiling up at him.

Jasper only nodded his head slightly in our direction, looking very uncomfortable.

"That's Rosalie and Emmett, they're mates as well." Esme said pointing to the big brown curly haired boy and the beautiful blonde girl, who were unmoving from their places on the lawn.

Emmett greeted us with a warm smile, while Rosalie chose to glare at us menacingly, in a way that frightened me even more then I was before.

Alice moved in front of me blocking my view from them.

"They're not as scary as they look." She whispered to me, giggling softly.

I looked back over at them, to see Rosalie storm off, but not without giving me one last hard glare. Emmett, after mumbling a low 'sorry' ran off after her.

"I apologize for Rosalie's behavior; it's been a hard day." Carlisle said smiling sadly. "We have another member, Edward, but he left to visit some friends."

At his words, the other three grew similar expressions of sadness for a passing moment, before Alice decided to change the subject.

"Bella, I have to tell you that you have one amazing gift. Though, it does bother me that I can't see you." She told me, a bit of a pout appearing on her face towards the end.

"W-what do you-u m-mean?" I stuttered.

"Bella doesn't have a gift," Lisa said immediately backing me up.

Alice just shook her head with a small smile appearing on her face.

"No one has ever blocked Edward or me out; I'm sure you have one." Alice said frowning a bit towards the end. "Jazz, are getting anything?"

Both Lisa and I moved into crouching positions as soon as Alice's words left her lips. Lisa, jumped in front of me to protect me, hissing at them as she moved, both of us ready for a fight.

The remaining Cullen's stood as still as statues, all seeming taken aback by our reactions.

"Perhaps we should've explained ourselves a bit more." Carlisle sighed, stepping in front of his coven. "We mean you no harm. Even though Bella is an extraordinary being, we know she will not touch us."

Lisa and I slowly moved with caution, until we were standing again, watching for any of them to move forward for a fight.

"I'm sorry for our reactions," She apologized, looking over at me in concern. "You must understand though that I will do whatever it takes to protect her."

Esme seemed touched by her words, and put a hand on Alice's tiny shoulder. "I understand what you mean completely." She smiled.

"Jasper will not hurt her," Carlisle assured us, smiling slightly. "If you would do the honor of joining us this evening, we can explain more."

"Thank you Carlisle, we would like to join you." Lisa smiled wearily, putting an arm around my shoulders. "We have quite a bit to explain as well."

"Lovely," Esme smiled as she walked forward, to lead us into their home.

One thing caught my attention the minute we reached the front porch; was that front door had been ripped off its hinges and broken into pieces.

"You'll have to excuse that," Esme said looking embarrassed as she caught my interest. "And the dining room as well." she added, before walking away from me quickly.

Ignoring the chaos of the door and dinning room that I had yet to see; their house was beyond beautiful. It was very open with high beamed ceilings, and a glass wall that covered the whole backside of the house. The walls were colored with white paint, and the floors were made up of a mix of white carpet and light colored wood. The furniture matched as well, with white chairs and couches, and light wood tables.

The walls were covered with beautiful paintings, and several antique and new decorations.

They began to lead us up a beautiful light wood staircase to the second floor; which was an open hallway filled with doors all leading into to unknown rooms.

"Esme, designed the whole house," Alice said as she appeared beside me.

"She did an amazing job." I complimented.

"Thank you, Bella." Esme called down from the top of the stairs, making me blush.

We soon found ourselves in Carlisle's study, which was magnificent to say the least. It was paneled with darker wood then the rest of the house had, and had the same color of wood floor to match. All around the study, he had huge towering shelves filled with as many books as a library would have. The only wall that wasn't covered with books was home to all kinds of different paintings.

"Most of those pictures are places from Carlisle's past." Alice explained from beside me, as I looked at all the pictures.

Reached up on her tiptoes to point towards a picture made up of three men painted onto a high balcony, looking down open the people below them.

"That's Aro, Marcus, and Caius, the leaders of the Volturi." she whispered, as she pointed to each of them as she said their names. "Carlisle was with them for a while. Not many of our kind have ever met them. I'm guessing you haven't because you're still alive. I doubt they would take kindly to you."

I could feel myself shaking as she spoke, drowning out must've what she was saying towards the end. The only thing I could concentrate on was the faces of my father's killers. The room started to spin, as their dark red painted eyes stared back at me, tauntingly.

"Bella, are you alright? Bella?" I heard Alice yell faintly as I fell into darkness.

* * *

"Bella, honey," I heard Lisa's voice say from somewhere close to me.

I opened my eyes slowly, bilking back the harsh light that was in them as I became conscious again. I found myself on the hard ground of Carlisle's study, with four worried looking vampires surrounding me.

"What happened?" I asked groggily, as I tried to find my way out of the haze that was clouding my mind.

"You fainted," an unrecognizable voice, answered, sounding far away. "You were feeling very anxious and terrified from something Alice had said to you. I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier with the amount of fear you had built up earlier."

Jasper appeared in front of me smiling a very small smile, as I sat up against the wall behind me.

"Obviously her gift doesn't block me out as I wished to tell you earlier. My gift just doesn't turn on and off when I wish it two. "

His smile grew when I opened my mouth to ask how he knew what I had felt.

"You're confused now; I can only guess that you're asking how I know all of this?" He asked before I could speak.

I nodded weakly.

"I can read and manipulate the emotions of people around me." He answered lightly shrugging, as if to say it was no big deal.

"What happened Bella?" Lisa asked moving in front of Jasper, looking on the brink of tears.

I let out a jagged breath as I was brought back to the moment before I fainted. "We need to leave, we can't be here." I yelled standing up and a making my way towards the door.

"What do you mean you can't be here?" Alice asked appearing in front of me, blocking the door.

"They'll kill you if they find out you know where I am, what I am." I explained hysterically to her, finding it hard to breathe again.

Alice just stared at me in response, her mouth slightly ajar. I turned my back on her after a moment, to find everyone else in the room looking at me with concern.

"I understand if you need to tell them to save your own coven, but please leave Lisa out of this." I began to beg, walking towards Carlisle. "I'll go with the Volturi willingly, just please don't involve Lisa."

"Bella, no one here is going to the Volturi. Like I said before, you're safe here." Carlisle tried to assure me.

"Yeah, you're safe around us," Alice chimed in from behind me.

"No, you don't understand!" I said fiercely backing away from them. "They've been after since I was a baby. I go against everything that they believe in. My father was a vampire who decided to have a stupid fling with a human; then she got pregnant, had me, and I killed her! The Volturi found out about me and wanted me to die. They killed my father, and have been after us even after that. We've been hiding for fifty years from them; and if they find out that I'm here, and that you know about me, they will kill you because of me!"

"Bella, calm down," Lisa said appearing next to me, and wrapping her arms around me tightly, to keep me still. "She does have a point though; we can't stay here and put your coven in danger over two vampires you don't even know. I promise you though that Bella doesn't have the strength, power, or the heart to hurt any of you."

"She's right," Jasper said speaking up from behind us.

Lisa turned us towards him, to see that he was standing in front of Alice protectively.

"You shouldn't have brought this here." Jasper hissed. "Alice comes first and I won't let anything hurt her or my family for that matter."

"Jasper, you have to see-" Alice began but was interrupted by him.

"Alice, I'm doing what's best for this family, and their lucky that we aren't any other coven who would've killed them already without the Volturi's help." He growled glowering at us. "This is one very dangerous secret to keep."

"Please don't tell them about her. Will leave right now and never come back." Lisa pleaded, before Carlisle moved in front of us.

"Jasper, that's enough!" Carlisle hissed. "This is enough of a difficult situation, without you threatening them."

Lisa wrapped her arms tighter around my shaking form as I held back tears.

Even with Carlisle defending us, I knew there was no hope. With the look Rosalie had given us earlier, I knew she would side with Japer, and the boy who I now knew as Edward, would surly be with them. Just thinking about _his _name made me shake even more.

"They are not going anywhere." Esme's voice rang out, breaking the tension in the room.

She gave a weary smile, before walking towards me with a determined look in her eyes.

"There's something about you Bella that is special, and it's not just what you are." She told me taking placing her cold hand on my cheek tear stained cheek. "Something happened today, I saw something that I thought I would never see again, and I for one can't see you go. If the Volturi come we will deal with them then, but you've done something that we've all been trying to do for years. You are welcomed here in Forks and around our family for as long as it pleases you."

I let out a shaky breath that I had been holding in, as she walked away leaving the room without another word.

I was so confused by what she had told me, I hadn't done a thing today other then bring them into the hell that my life held. As I looked up at the three remaining Cullen's; I could see that they had got meaning of Esme's words more then I had, and that no matter what It was it had held something that they all could agree on.

* * *

We left the Cullen's shortly after that, Lisa promising a visit from us soon. Carlisle, after accepting what Esme had said, seemed amazed with me and wanted to know more about me as a vampire hybrid. He told us that he doctor for humans, which was mind boggling enough for someone like us. Needless to say, we were interested to hear more about him as well as the rest of the family.

The ride home was silent. I could feel the new tension in the air around us, just waiting to be broken by the words that needed to be spoken, but neither of us said a thing.

The moment we reached the house, I walked up to my room without saying a word to Lisa. By the time I had discarded my jacket and shoes, Lisa was already standing in my doorway looking worn out.

"Bella, we really should talk about this,"

"Talk about what? About the fact that even more people are going to get hurt by me?!" I snapped glaring at her.

"They know consequences that come along with leaving us live here! You can't just decide for them! If this is what they want, then we can't do a damn thing about it!" She yelled.

"We can't do a damn thing about it?" I mocked grabbing my bag from school and dumping out it's contents. "What about what's right and what's wrong? It's wrong for us to stay here and put them in danger! They don't control us; we can do what we want! It's as Esme said, we can stay here for as long as we want, and I think we've been her long enough! I'm going to do the right thing and leave before they get to take on the demand problems that follow us!"

I started tearing through the boxes on the floor grabbing what I would absolutely need while tears began to fall from my eyes. Before I could even fight back, the bag was gone from my hands.

"Bella, we are going to stay here!" Lisa said, pushing me away lightly when I tried to grab my bag back. "The Volturi have given up the hunt, they are no longer after us. You are fully-grown and enough time has pasted that I doubt they would even recognize you. They don't know anything about your characteristics; they wouldn't even give your heartbeat a second thought or your scent either, if they found you in a crowed. If they do show up then they do, but you can't let this fear rule your life."

I glared at her through my tears, knowing if I spoke I would hurt her, and I didn't have it in me to hurt anyone else tonight.

"I'm going hunting and when I get back I expect you to still be here." Lisa said calmly throwing my bag down before walking out the door.

After the front door slammed shut, I crumbled to the floor defeated, sobbing quietly. After a while I made it to my bed and the last thing I saw before I succumbed into slumber, was _his _cold, dark stare.

* * *

****

A/N So I hoped you all liked it:D It took me forever to get this chapter where I wanted it. And I know there's no Edward:( But he comes back next chapter.

Which speaking of the next chapter, I already have all of Edwards POVs almost done. But I changed a lot of stuff in this chapter so Bella's needs a lot of work. I will now start putting a date on my profile of when I will update again, so that way you guys know what's going on. It shouldn't take me more then a few days to get it done so expect the new chapter soon:D I can't believe how many emails I get every time I update this, thanks so much to all of you out there reading this:D

PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you think:D I almost always responded and also please tell me if my grammar was bad!!!:D Thanks for the reviews I've been getting.

One last thing before I go, I saw Remember Me is weekend and it is amazing! Anyone who loves a good movie should go see it:D


	4. The Scientist

**A/N: Sorry it took me a bit longer to get this up. I'll put up a date for when the next chapter can be expected. Also last chapter I had some problems on here so sorry about that. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! No copyright infringement was intended!**

_**Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorryYou don't know how lovely you are, I had to find you, tell you, I need you,**_

_**Tell you I set you apart,Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions**_

_**Oh, let's go back to the start,**_

_**Running in circles, coming up tails,**_

_**Heads on a science apart,**_

_**Nobody said it was easyIt's such a shame for us to part,**_

_**Nobody said it was easyNo one ever said it would be this hard,**_

_**Oh, take me back to the start**_

_**The Scientist By Coldplay**_

**Goodbye, Apathy Chapter 4: The Scientist**

* * *

**Edwards POV**

The air of the forests of Alaska rushed by me as I ran, making me feel refreshed. I couldn't remember the last I had felt so free. Denali was a familiar place to me, we had met another coven like ours years back. My family was close to them, but they weren't very fond of me.

I knew that here in Alaska, I would be away from everyone and everything I had ever hurt. I could live in a world where no one was caused pain by me, even if it was for only a little while.

I came to a halt, breathing deeply, when I found myself in my favorite spot in the Alaskan forests. It hadn't changed much since I had last visited; just like me ever unchanging. The mountains that surrounded it grew taller the farther they went, until the very tallest peaks were covered with the whitest snow. The tall greenery around me blew slightly in the wind, making the softest sound as they moved around the flowers that were still in bloom. The sky was clear blue today, and the lake about fifty feet in front of me matched its lively color.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply trying to enjoy the place in the same way I once had. But for some reason, whenever I closed my eyes today, all I could see was _her _face. Her eyes, her face from her father's memory, and the beautiful girl that my eyes connected with yesterday. It had felt like I was connected to her, though no sound came from her mind. It was like she had drawn me to her.

With a frustrated growl, I snapped my eyes opened and began to pace.

Why was she consuming me so? It wasn't right, it was sick. She was just supposed to be just a face of the past like the all others. She was supposed to be nothing special.

She had with just one look made me lose all my composure and sent me into a wave of hatred and guilt. Alice was right; I used to be stronger then this. I would've laughed at this challenge; for what could one insignificant vampire hybrid do to me? Why should I let any amount of sanity I had built up in the last few years go, just because of her?

But that was who I was then, and now I was completely different. I didn't know if I had enough strength to return to Forks and forget about her; to act like she wasn't there, when with every moment I would see her face, I would remember my past.

Even if for some strange reason I could get over those problems, there was still my family. How was I going to make up for what I did this time? Why did I deserve to live back in their house when I still hurt them so much? Everyday, I listened to the pain I had caused yet I had done nothing about it to make it better. What kind of messed up demon was I?

I let my frustration out by kicking the ground, digging up a chunk of the forest floor.

I was so tired of thinking of thinking about it all. My family didn't need someone like me around them. I caused more pain then anything in the past fifty years.

Emmett's words rang through my head making my cold, dead heard sink. I knew what had to be done.

The family I used to have would be better without me in their lives.

I would not return to Forks.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

_Dear Diary,_

_It's now Saturday in this small rainy town; and to tell the truth I really don't have much to write. Everyone seems really nice. The kids at school are a little annoying, especially Mike Newton. He's like a little puppy that follows me around all the time; and as much as I hate to admit it I don't think he's my only admirer. Jessica never stops talking and seems to get mad every time Mike talks to me, though I think she loves the attention she's getting from being the new girl's friend. I can honesty say that it's easy to fit in here. It's weird to live a normal life but I'm getting used to it. The only thing that reminds me that all is not well is the Cullens. I notice that Rosalie and Jasper glare at me more everyday, but Alice is nice. She asks me how I am everyday, and I answer, but I'm trying to keep my distance from all of them. Lisa and I aren't talking much. I'm still holding on to my belief that we should leave. So I guess we're at an impasse for now; though I hope to change that soon. On a interesting more note, Edward's still not back. I know it's completely crazy to think this, but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm the reason why he hasn't returned yet. The more days he's gone the more I believe that what I think is true. I sit at lunch everyday looking for him to walk in, but so far nothing………_

I sat my diary down on the kitchen table when I heard the front door open.

"Bella, I'm home." Lisa called from the entryway.

With a roll of my eyes I stood up, bringing the empty plate that had held my lunch with me.

"How was work?" I asked stiffly, as I rinsed my plate off in the sink.

"Fine," she answered when she entered the kitchen; leaning up against the countertop.

"That's good," I mumbled walking back over to the table to gather up my things.

"Homework?" She inquired, irritation clouding her tone.

"Yeah," I whispered as I picked up my last book and headed for the stairs.

I had only made it about half way up with I heard her approach the bottom of the staircase.

"Bella, this has to stop." she sighed.

I stopped my hurried pace and closed my eyes, breathing deeply as I tried to let my frustration out.

"When you decide to the right thing, it will." I hissed, turning to give her a heard glare before running up to my room.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

It was two days after my decision not to go back to Forks and still she wouldn't leave my mind. Why couldn't I hear her thoughts? What did she think of us? Did any of my family try to hurt her? Why was did she bring back every horrifying memory?

It should've been the easiest thing for me to go back and play my part, and continue to be as closed off as I had became accustomed to being. I should be able to ignore her, ignore the past, but it just didn't seem that easy. Maybe it was because I had been avoiding those thoughts and memory's for so long that it was finally catching up to me. Maybe it was a wake up call for me? Maybe I this was telling me that I needed to move on. But then again what was the point in trying now? I was a monster! A demon! Nothing would ever change that. I let people die, I killed people, this was forever and my choices didn't help anything at all.

I threw the bear I had just drank from to the the ground, and stormed off through the Alaskan forest. All these thoughts had been torturing me for the past two days and it was killing me. I was not going back to Forks and nothing could convince me!

* * *

_**Flash back**_

'_Edward, please don't leave?' Alice thought as soon as I stepped in the door from my long hunting trip._

"_Alice, don't even start with me." I hissed, running up to my room._

'_Edward, this is a huge mistake. You don't belong there!' Alice protested as she followed me._

"_I'm not going to give up on our diet Alice! I'm not turning my back on who I am. I just need a change!" I yelled, as I started throwing my things into suitcases. _

_She ran over to me and grabbed my arms, trying to stop me from packing._

"_Alice let go!" I hissed pulling away from her grasp._

"_Why do you need a change Edward, tell me?" She yelled as she started grabbing my things out of the suitcases; throwing them around the room._

"_You really want to know why?" I yelled towering over her. "I have no one! You all have happy little lives with your mates and I am always alone! I'm a seventh wheel in this house and I hate it! You think I enjoy wasting my entire existence going to high school, spending my nights alone reading useless books and playing the piano; and for what? To just do the same thing everyday? You don't know what it feels like to be me. I never wanted this, I hate this life, and I'm a monster! A creature of the night, and maybe it's time I join the others. They seem to have some kind of peace with this life, besides I can't leave what happened today happen again to someone else."_

"_What happened today, other then you making this stupid decision?! I didn't see a thing!" Alice yelled._

_I backed away from her as I heard everyone else's thoughts for the first time. They we're all standing outside my door listening to our fight._

"_Edward man, I know it's not the best life, but you're not a seventh wheel to us." Emmett said stepping forward into the room when he saw that I took notice to them. "You're our brother; you're Carlisle and Esme's son. You can't just leave us."_

_I was about to start to defend myelf when Esme came over to me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder._

"_Edward, please I understand if you need a change, we all can understand that." She said her voice cracking, as she unleashed her pleading eyes on me. "But Edward, please go anywhere but to the Volturi. You're so much better then that dear. You've seen Carlisle's memories; you out of everyone should know that this is something you don't want to get into."_

_I looked at her for one more moment before I turned my head away from her and removed my shoulder from her grasp._

"_I'm sorry mom, but I've already decided that this is what I want to do." I whispered, walking towards my open suitcases._

'_Edward,' Alice and Emmett thought at the same time._

"_The conversation is over, please leave and let me get my things packed." I said in an empty voice trying my best to ignore everyone's thoughts. I listened as they slowly all left; Alice and Esme we're crying, Jasper and Rosalie we're making plans to talk me out of it, and Emmett had ran off before his anger got the best of him. The only one that hadn't left was Carlisle; he was still standing in the doorway, looking at me, disappointed._

"_Carlisle-" _

'_Edward, I accept you're decision, but how could you do this to you're mother and me again? And now your siblings as well?" He thought shaking his head. "You've disappointed me Edward; I thought you would've at least handled this better. No matter what though, we all still love you and we will miss you greatly. My door is always open for you my son.'_

_I growled at him and threw one of my bags against the wall._

"_Don't you dare try to make me feel bad Carlisle! I never wanted this damned life in the first place, and you're the one who gave it to me! So don't stand there and talk about being disappointed in me! Do you think I get some sick pleasure out of leaving? That I enjoy hearing and seeing the hurt I've caused my family? I don't enjoy being selfish, but this is something I have to do!"_

_He looked at me with a mix of shock and hurt, his thoughts circling around the same emotions. Without another word or thought he walked away, leaving me alone._

_**Two days later**_

"_Edward," Aro greeted as I walked towards him and the rest of the guard. _

"_Aro," I said bowing. _

"_Are you ready to take you're place as part of the guard?" he asked sitting up from his chair and walking towards me, his right hand held out for me to grasp._

_As my gold eyes met his ruthless red, I forced myself not to think about my family or any other reason as to why I should not have been here. I slowly lifted my right hand towards him, making his smile grow._

"_Yes Aro, yes I am." I answered, grasping his hand in mine._

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I woke with a start, sitting strait up out of my bed gasping for air, as tears feel from my eyes. It took me a few seconds to convince myself that I was still in my room and not in some random part of the forest. I tried to rid the image of those horrible red eyes from my nightmare out of my mind.

I heard my door crack and looked to see Lisa staring at me with a worried expression on her face.

"Bella, are you alright?" Lisa asked as she appeared at the side of my bed.

I nodded in response, turning away from her as I lay back down on my bed on my side.

I felt my bed shift as she sat down behind me suddenly as she sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, they're just stupid dreams. " I whispered wiping the tears that had fell from my eyes earlier away.

We sat in an awkward silence for a few moments before I felt her shift and move towards me.

"I should really get some sleep." I murmured before she could reach me. "I've got school tomorrow."

"Alright," She mumbled, getting up. I could hear the hurt in her voice and even though it pained me to leave her like that, I just couldn't deal with another fight.

Once I heard the door close, I let the tears I had been holding in fall. My dream had been horribly vivid. I had been walking through the forest with Lisa, when red eyes started appearing all around us in a dark forest. Soon those red eyes turned into the faces of the Volturi. The three leading the group were Aro, Marcus, and Caius. Their dark gazes were locked with ours as one of there guards grabbed my arms and locked them behind my back. They threw me to the ground, still holding on so I could still see in front of me. The remaining vampires started to attack Lisa ripping her into pieces in front of me. I screamed and cried for them to stop, but all they did in return was laugh. Once she was burning I was lifted off the ground and turned around to face the vampire who had been holding me down.

To my horror I found Edward Cullen looking back at me. His eyes were red like the rest of them, and he had a horrible grin stretched across his face. He kept eye contact with me as his sharp teeth distended towards my neck and I let out a blood curdling scream.

That was when I had woken up, left with the terror of the dream. I tried my hardest to clear my head but I had no luck.

As the dull sun light rose from outside, I thought about _his_ face in my dream.

Maybe it was a good thing _he _hadn't came back.

* * *

Edwards POV

As I stared up into the beautiful Denali night sky I couldn't help but think of my family. It had been three days since I remembered that memory and with it had come a huge wave of guilt.

I was so selfish for leaving them and hurting them like I had done. Looking back on it, I didn't even deserve there forgiveness. I was lucky they even wanted to see me again after that, and I had taken advantage of them horribly.

The look Esme gave me still haunted me. I remember my real mother giving me it on occasion when I would talk about joining the war. Only it was worse coming from Esme. Not only had I actually left her once before, but I had done it a second time, and now a third.

When I thought of Carlisle it hurt just the same if not worse. The way I had spoken to him that night was beyond appalling. He had done so much for me, yet I had through the one thing that haunted him the most right in his face. In truth I had resented somewhat for turning me, but I would've never told him that. I knew that he had thought he made the right decision, and the fact my mother had asked him as enough to never say a word about it.

After how much Carlisle and Esme had done for me it wasn't fair to them to be treated horribly by me.

I knew that I should go back. Despite the fact that I would have to see _her _almost everyday and relive the past. Even if I wouldn't change my cold, hard exterior it was what they deserved. But for once in a long time I needed to do the unselfish thing. But the question was could I do it? And even if I could, would they even want me back this time?

* * *

_**Flashback**_

_I sluggishly walked towards what used to be my home six years ago. It was weird being back; nothing had seemed to change to this big house; which compared to me that was a big difference. After all that I had seen and dealt with in the past few years, even the thought of my family couldn't bring me any comfort. I was sure Alice knew how I was going to be from now on. I shouldn't have even been here, but I needed them even if I wasn't going to be around them as much as I could help it. They deserved more then to be stuck with someone like me. The pain I had caused them would only be worse, but again I was used to being selfish. I had kept in touch with them as the past few years dragged by; I knew that they saw the change in me the longer I was there. Alice knew more then the others, but they knew enough to worry. They had begged for me to come home, even tried to make a trip to take me away, but I had refused childishly to both. _

_As I walked onto the front porch the front door opened, reviling my spiky haired sister; smiling sadly at me. She cautiously stepped towards me and when she thought it was safe, she wrapped her tiny arms around me._

'_I missed you so much Edward. I'm so glad you're back.' she thought squeezing me tighter. When I didn't move to hug her, she pulled away looking hurt. _

_Before she could say anything the others had joined us. Esme ran up and gave me a hug as she cried. When she noticed me not responding, she pulled away and put her hand on my cheek._

"_Edward, darling." she whispered brokenly, her thoughts filled with pain. _

"_Hi mom," I whispered, backing away from her. _

'_Oh, Edward' Carlisle thought, as he walked forward and wrapped his arms around his sobbing mate. _

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Hi Bella, how was your day?" Alice asked, appearing at my side as I walked out of the school on Friday.

"Pretty good, how about yours?" I asked politely as I had everyday this week. As much as I tried to stay away from the Cullen's, Alice was unavoidable.

"Better then normal," She said happily her smile growing.

I smiled at her and nodded picking up my pace, hoping to rid her of me.

"So how's the new house coming?" she asked when I stopped in front of my truck.

"It's coming," I answered while fishing my keys out of my bag.

"You should have Lisa call Esme; she loves to do these kinds of things." Alice offered bouncing a bit in excitement. "I would love to help too if you want?"

"Ah, sure; I'll talk to Lisa about it," I sighed. "You know, you really shouldn't be around."

"Bella, you're perfectly harmless. Stop worrying." She giggled.

I shook my head at her dismissive words, while I opened the door to my truck and threw my bag across the cab.

"You might think that, but I couldn't stand if one of your family members got hurt because of me." I stressed, resting my head on the open door.

"Oh Bella, nothing bad is going to happen." She smiled. "It's going to rain soon, so I'm going to go find shelter."

She waved at me while she walked away, heading towards a red jeep across from my truck.

I sighed, wrapping my arms around my chest. I just couldn't understand why no one would listen to me. It wasn't fair for them to die because of me. I wouldn't be able to live with that kind of guilt.

The sound of my name being called brought me out of my thoughts. I held in the groan I wanted to let out, when I saw that Mike and Jessica were walking towards me

"Hi, guys," I said trying to sound happy.

"So, I see you're rather friendly with a Cullen." Jessica said almost accusingly sending a glare over at Alice, who was standing outside of the jeep.

"Alice is really nice," I defended, my tone leaving her know that I didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm sure she is," She said flashing me a fake smile before leaning against my truck bed Mike following her.

"Not that I would know." I heard her mumble to low for a normal person to hear as she continued to glare at Alice and now Emmett.

I noticed that at Emmett's approach, Alice stared talking, her lips moving quickly.

"You know it's like so weird," Jessica began, looking at me now, "Like Edward Cullen hasn't been in school for like what two weeks now?"

"Why do you care anyway Jess? It's not like he actually talks to you." Mike said rolling his eyes, receiving a slap from Jessica in return.

"Hey!"

"I was just like stating the obvious Mike. I mean really like how-"

I tuned them out at that point, focusing on Alice and Emmett instead.

"_I still can't see what he's going to do! It's driving me insane! It doesn't help that he threw his phone out his window somewhere in Canada. I could've at least called and apologized." _I heard Alice huff making me extremely curious. Sure it was wrong to ease drop, but I just couldn't help it.

"_He's been leaning more to coming home though, epically in the last few days." _Alice told Emmett excitedly. _"I think we might really get him back Emmett!"_

When she finished it hit me who she was talking about and I found myself listening opened mouthed in horror.

"_Like it matters anyway Alice, he's not going to be back to normal." _Emmett mumbled opening the door to their jeep.

"_Emmett-" _Alice began to scold following him.

It was right then that I felt a hand on my shoulder making me jump and come back to reality.

"Bella, are you alright?" a worried Mike asked, while Jessica stood beside him rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, sorry what did you want?"

"Mike, you can tell her I've got to go," Jessica huffed walking off mumbling to herself.

Mike watched her go for a second, looking uncomfortable as he turned towards me.

"We we're just wondering if you waned to hang out this weekend?" He asked rubbing the back of his neck as a light blush lit up his pale face.

"Oh, actually I can't this weekend. My aunt and I still have a lot do to in the new house so maybe some other time." I lied feeling a blush grace my own face. I hated lying but at this point I had other things to worry about.

"Yeah, sure maybe some other weekend." Mike mumbled looking down at the ground rolling back on his heels awkwardly. "Well, bye Bella."

As soon as his back was turned to me, I jumped into my truck, and slammed the door, before letting out a sigh. I could tell that I had hurt him some by turning him down. But at the moment Mike was the least of my worries; _He_ might be coming back.

* * *

**Edwards POV**

I swore if I had a real heart it would've been beating a million miles an hour as I walked up to the white house. I couldn't believe I had come back. I opened the newly repaired front door slowly and walked into to the familiar house that brought me little comfort. Everyone was standing in the doorway hesitantly, waiting for me to make the first move. I ran my hand through my unruly hair closing my eyes as I tried to ignore all their thoughts. I didn't want to know that Emmett was about ready to punch me, that Alice wanted to launch herself at me, or that Esme and Carlisle were at a breaking point with me.

As I slowly opened my eyes I knew I had to speak, so with a needless swallow I began.

"First of all I want to apologize for how I acted and what I said. I shouldn't have left like that again." I admitted in my usual dead voice running my hand through my hair again nervously.

I waited for one of them to say something, but it seemed like I was meant to do all the talking this time.

"I'm back for the time being, but I can't promise that I'm not going to leave again." I explained, pinching the bridge of my nose. "If I do leave again I think that you all deserve to at least know why."

I took a deep breath before continuing.

"Isabella Swan is a part of the past that I never wish to relive again. I do not want to go in to anymore detail so please don't ask me. I am going to do my best to ignore her and move on with my life as if she never came into it. If that becomes too hard, I will leave again."

"Edward, we will all leave with you then." Carlisle stated looking around at the others for approval.

I could already tell where some of their thoughts were going, mainly Rosalie's; but before I could deny Carlisle's offer, Esme stepped forward.

"Edward, if this is too much for you then we will leave with you now." She pressed, looking concerned. "It's not like we haven't done it before for the others. We are your family Edward. You don't have to be alone."

I shook my head sadly at her words and looked back up at her.

"Esme, I won't do that to all of you. I am the last person that deserves such kindness. I've been selfish enough in the past and I'm not going to be like that again." She was about to protest but I stopped her. "I've said it many times and I'll say it again; my mistakes are not excusable. I shouldn't even be in this house right now. I have hurt you all so much and it kills me, but that's just the way things are. There's no hope for me. I have to be alone, so please just let me have that."

I turned my back to them and walked away heading to my room. Before I even hit the second staircase, I heard Alice following me.

"What Alice?" I mumbled stopping in the hallway.

_Edward, I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have got everyone's hopes up. Don't blame this on yourself this time, it was my fault. _

"Alice, you know as well as I do that that's not true."

With that, I continued running towards my room; but even though she wasn't following, she still continued the conversation.

_Edward, Esme and I now know that we need to accept the fact that you don't want us around you. But we still aren't going to give up on you, and neither is Carlisle. We know you will come back one day, and even though I can't see anything, trust me when I tell you that change is coming your way, I can feel it. You should know by now not to bet against me. Until then, I promise to stay out of your way._

* * *

_September 17__th__ 2005_

_The plan is set, come Monday I will pull up to Forks High School and act like nothing has changed. I will ignore Alice and stand outside my car, before then make my way to class. I will ignore all the annoying teenagers' thoughts especially those about Isabella. I will sit at lunch and pretend to be a normal teenager and not look for her. I will go on with my day ignoring her, not looking for her thoughts, and do my best to not remember the past. If I must talk to her I will be pleasant but not say anything more then hello. That is the plan, and I will stick to it. Alice says change is coming, but I don't believe it. She sounded more like a fortune cookie if anything. It might be a cowardly thing to say, but I am afraid for what is to come……….._

**A/N Thanks for reading, REVIEW PLEASE. Edward and Bella will meet again in the next chapter sorry it's taken so long for that to happen:D**


	5. RE:Stacks

**A/N: Sorry it took me more time to get this up. Review and I'll give you a preview of the next chapter. Bon Iver is amazing, and even though this songs lyrics don't really go, it fit Edwards forest scene in my head when I was writing. More info at the end.**

_**I keep throwing it down two hundred at a time,**_

_**It's hard to find it when you knew it**_

_**When your money's gone, **__**And you're drunk as hell**_

_**On your back with your racks as the stacks as your load, **__**In the back and the racks and the stacks are your load, **_

_**In the back with your racks and you're unstacking your load,**_

_**I've twisting to the sun I needed to replace, **_

_**The fountain in the front yard is rusted out,**_

_**All my love was down In a frozen ground,**_

_**There's a black crow sitting across from me; his wiry legs are crossed,**_

_**And he's dangling my keys he even fakes a toss,**_

_**Whatever could it be, That has brought me to this loss?**_

_**RE:Stacks By Bon Iver**_

**Goodbye, Apathy Chapter Five RE:Stacks**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

_Dear Diary,_

_Today is another start to a new week here in Forks. My weekend was very boring, well other then the constant nagging reminder in my mind that he might be coming back. I'm dreading today more and more the closer I get to having to go to school. I wish I could ditch, but I know I need to face my fear of him. I would have to go back tomorrow anyway, so why not seize the day…._

I laughed darkly at my last sentence, before throwing my diary down on my bed somewhere. My gaze moved to the small window in my bedroom which now was adorned with purple curtains.

As I watched the rain fall down I thought of _him_, of what might happen today if he was there. After a few more minutes of musing, I figured I had blew enough time and got up to finish getting ready for school.

* * *

The parking lot was filled by the time I pulled into it, leaving me with one of the open spots in the back. My nerves were going hay wire as I stepped out of my truck. I looked around quickly looking for any sign of _him_, before I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head and walked towards the school.

I managed to stay incognito until I was in the middle of the parking lot, when Jessica spotted me.

"Hey Bella, how was your weekend?" She asked causally as she appeared beside me.

"It was good, how about yours?" I inquired politely, trying to hide my scowl.

"Mike canceled on me." She huffed, rolling her eyes. "He said we should wait until everyone else could hang out with us. Like how rude is that?"

"Totally rude," I agreed trying to sound as outraged she had.

"I know! I was like Mike, we can hang out by ourselves you know. But like yeah, he's such a complete idiot. I hate guys!" She rambled, sounding slightly hysterical. "You know it's like they want us to fall over them and than after they like throw us to the curb. I mean I've made a promise with myself that no matter how hot the guy is he's going to have to work for me. Like Mike thinks he totally hurt me this weekend, but like he so didn't, like I don't even like him that much anyway."

I nodded as I pretended to listen, feeling slightly guilty. It had been after all my fault that Mike had canceled on her. As I looked away from Jessica a flash of sliver caught my eye.

I stopped walking and swallowed hardly. When turned my head again, my eyes met with the sliver Volvo that I hadn't seen since my first day here. As I let my eyes stray I saw the tall, dark figure that had haunted my nightmares for the past week and a half. He was leaning against the car, looking just as beautiful and intimidating as before.

"Bella, are you ok? I looked beside me and you were totally like gone!" Jessica's demanding voice said breaking me out of my hazed thoughts.

"What?" I asked breathlessly, turning my attention away from _him. _

Jessica let out a strangled growl.

"I was like totally venting and then you were like gone. I mean if u didn't wan to listen then you could've just said so!" She whined, rolling her eyes at me.

I looked back towards the Volvo, but _he _was gone. I looked all around me franticly, but _he_ was no where to be found.

"Bella, what is wrong with you?" Jessica hissed, grabbing my right arm.

"Nothing," I lied, avoiding the annoyed look she was giving me.

"Whatever, god you can be so weird sometimes." She mumbled letting go of my arm before she walking into the school.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself, before following after Jessica.

I was in for a long day.

**Edwards POV**

_September, 19th__ 2005_

_I saw her this morning. She was only thirty feet away from me, her beautiful brown eyes staring at me in fear. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel even more lost then I did before I left. That was something I didn't think was possible. I haven't spoken to anyone since I've returned. I keep my distance and so do they. Though, I did get an actual smile from Esme this morning; which is something I haven't seen in a very long time. It made things far worse though, I felt guilty enough without that added to it. She and Alice still hold this silly false hope that I will be the same again. It's just not right; I'm starting to regret coming back here. Currently I'm hiding out in my car away from everyone. I couldn't sit in the same lunch room as Isabella, it was too much.. It's odd to think that the one good thing I had done in the past fifty years seems to be the thing that's going to be my own undoing…. _

I looked up from my journal and sighed, before staring out of the window into the pouring rain. With nothing better to do, I closed my journal and sat it in my bag, before heading off to my next class.

I tried to keep _her _out of my head, but it felt like she was everywhere. It was like I could hear her in every mind of every student; and her scent was everywhere, engulfing me in it. It felt like my world was crumbling around me and she was at the core of that destruction. By the time I made it into the building that my biology class was in, I wanted to turn around and leave.

_Finally Cullen's going to join us, _Mr. Banner, the teacher thought dryly as I waked in. _Like we're supposed to believe that he had a family emergency. How stupid do the Cullen's think we are, they take those kids out of school all the time for no reason. _

It was time to turn on the charm.

"Mr. Banner," I greeted not having to put much effort in my pained look.

"Edward, it's nice to see you're back. I hope everything's alright. I heard you had a family emergency."

I sighed theatrically. "That's correct sir, I lost my biological grandmother. She was the only connection I had left with my real family, I've taken it quite hard as you can imagine. I would like to make up for the work I've miss though."

I didn't miss a beat and just like every teacher I had spoke to today, he completely believed me.

_Poor boy, I remember when I lost my grandma. Oh, poor nana, I wish she was here. _

"It's alright Edward; I understand what you're going through. As long as you keep a good average in the next few weeks and make up the work you should be fine. I would recommend borrowing someone's notes from the last two weeks. ."

With a fake sad smile, I nodded and let him lead me to the table I would be sharing with my new lab partner. I could bet that in about two weeks that I would no longer be sharing the table. I intimidated people so easily.

As I waited for class to start, I stared out a dingy old window next to my table aimlessly; praying that this day would be over soon.

There was only three minutes until class started when I heard it; the fluttering sound of Isabella Swans heart beat. My body tensed in an instant when I heard the dull thud of her foot steps coming towards my table. My fists tightened as I heard the chair next to me move and her familiar scent wash over me.

It took everything I had not to look for her in one of the wondering minds around me. For I wanted to know if she looked afraid. If her quickened heart beats and erratic breathing came along with fear that could be seen in her chocolate brown eyes. Her scent was just as enchanting as it had been fifty years ago; only now I could really appreciate it in fully in person, not the dull note of it I had gotten the past.

I mentally scolded myself for leaving my thoughts travel to her.

_Think about something else_, I told myself repeatedly; but all that did was take me back to a vivid memory of a dark forest.

I shook my head lightly, and turned my attention to the front of the room as Mr. Banner started class. I knew I would have to see her at some point; this was just what I had to deal with. I just had to endure it.

**Bella's POV**

Everything in the room was spinning. This was far more terrifying then any silly nightmare I had ever had. Edward Cullen was seated right next to me.

It had never crossed my mind in the past two weeks that the empty seat next to me would have belonged to _him_. The moment I walked into the small building and saw him sitting in that seat everything had froze. I couldn't think or breathe for that matter; it was a terrifying site. _Him _sitting in the seat that was beside the one that I would be hold me for the next hour. Just the thought of his petrifying glare scared me straight.

Even with being as scared as I was, I knew I had to suck it up. So I walked forward timidly, keeping my eyes on him at all times. As I moved closer I could tell that his body was visibly tense and his right fist was tightened at his side. He never moved though, even when I had pulled my chair back and sat down.

Nothing.

It was as if he was a carved statue.

He only ever moved once when class started. I sat uncomfortably next to him the whole time, never taking my eyes off the notebook in front of me. The second the bell rang, I heard his chair slide across the floor and when his back was turned, I watched him walk out of the class room as quickly as possible.

______________

_Dear Diary, _

_It's been a weird week. Everyday, I sit next to Edward Cullen in biology, and everyday he ignores me and leaves the minute the bell rings. It's not that I want to talk to him or that I need his attention, it's the odd amount of tension I feel radiating off him; and also the fact that he can't even look at me. I just don't understand what I did to him. I've tried to just think that maybe he just feels the same way as Jasper and Rosalie do about me, but it just seems like their something else. I'm too scared to say something to him or ask him what his problem is. I just have to get through the next Two hours and then I can go home for the weekend. Though I doubt that will be any fun, I have a feeling that Lisa has a talk planned for us. This is after all the longest we've gone without speaking….._

I stopped writing when I heard the chair next to being pulled out. I looked hesitantly towards him to find him sitting straight ahead, his focus on the front of the room.

I looked away, swallowing hardly, before closing my diary. I sat down my pen before turning to put my diary away. As I was closing my bag, I heard the sound of my pen rolling towards _him _before hitting the ground. I closed my eyes, slight fear taking over as I turned towards him. When I opened my eyes all I could see were his beautiful topaz eyes staring back into mine.

**Edwards POV**

A week that was only how long it took for her to drive me mad. Her smell, her lack of thoughts, her voice, the memory of her, and my painful regret for her. I felt like I was back fifty years ago, leading the guard off her trial; protecting the girl I had only known of in others memory. Accept this time she wasn't in danger, I was. I was in danger of losing the little inch of sanity that I had left.

God, how I could wished it would all end. I wished she would go away and leave me with the little life I had left. It felt like just when I was finally able to forget all I had done she had came back to remind me of everything.

Friday was supposed to be my salvation. After Friday I could be free to do as I wished, staying as far away from her as possible. But of course the day actually turned out to be my demise.

I walked to biology, making sure I was only there with seconds to spare. I could only allow myself to sit in hell for so long after all. When I entered class I didn't allow myself to look at her or listen to thoughts about her. I simply shut down and walked towards my seat, resuming the tense position I had held all week long. That was when I heard it; the sound of her pen rolling across the table towards me, before dropping to the ground with a soft tap at my feet.

I held out the growl I wanted to let out, as I bent over and picked it up from the floor.

My stupid good natured manners were nothing but a nuisance at times like these. For even though I knew I wasn't in the early 1900's at the moment, I couldn't help but follow rules. Even after all I this time, I could still her my mothers somewhat faint voice in my head telling me that it would be rude if I did not pick up what she had dropped. I felt like all I needed was a silly top hat to tip in her direction to make the ridiculous scene complete.

I turned towards her and waited only a moment for her to face me. She looked taken aback while she stared at me; her eye's gazing into mine in a mix of wonder and fear.

I couldn't ignore the nagging part of me that was dying to know what she had been thinking at that moment.

Without breaking eye contact, I slowly slid my hand towards her sitting the pen down next to her left hand.

"Thank you," She whispered after a moment. Her brown eyes looking into mine hesitantly.

"You're welcome," I murmured, my foolish manners taking over again.

I looked away quickly then before I could do something moronic. The entire class it felt like there was an odd energy around us. I felt the need to look at her and it took everything I had not to. By the time the bell rang, I was spent.

I jump into my Volvo, skipping my last class and heading home.

I was glad to come home to an empty house, making it easy for me to pack up my small traveling bag with a change of clothes for Monday morning, my journal, a pen, and my small silver cell phone incase of an emergency.

I took off towards California with my bag attached to my back, with nothing but thoughts of mountain lions occupying my mind.

* * *

_September 24__th__, 2005_

_I have found over the years that on dark nights like tonight misery is my greatest companion. I feel as if I can grieve in peace. It is rare moments like these that I feel as if I could weep for everything I have done. I feel the most pain here in the darkness. Henry Longfellow once said __**"Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again." **__Those eleven words had once been held near and dear to me. I believed in those words as if it were a religion, ignoring what he wrote after that sentence. I have now learned though that in my case especially those words are false. The past does come back to haunt you, and once it does you can't ignore it. If I were only smart enough to pay attention to the wise words he wrote after, I might be ok right now…………_

Stopped my writing and let out a shaky breath as I threw my journal on top of my bag carelessly.

I leaned back against the tree behind me and let my memory of a dark forest take over me.

* * *

_The dark forest rushed around me as I ran; my newly acquired almost black cloak getting in my way. I was glad that on this particular trip, that it was only Jane, Felix, Heidi, Alec and I. _

_For we were searching for Isabella Swan. We had split from the rest of the guard after a rather brutal killing of a small coven disobeying the law. I had felt little sympathy for them, seeing as they had wished to continue building their newborn army in hopes of starting another war in the south._

_I knew we were in trouble tonight the moment the familiar dull scent filled the air. We didn't know much about her characteristics, they had killed Charlie Swan before anything was found out. But they had been tracking her before, so the moment we had began the hunt they recognized it._

_Aro had knew my sorrow for the poor girl the moment he touched me, but hadn't known that I had vowed to keep her safe. That was something I had made sure to think about after I had joined._

"_Edward-" Jane hissed as I came to a stop._

_I shushed her and walked forward. I knew she had to be around here somewhere. _

_Alec groaned. "I think he's leading us on a wild goose chase." He whispered to Felix seriously, who instead found it humorous._

"_I hear that drinking the geese's blood will do that to you." He laughed._

_Jane hissed when Heidi joined in with him, striking them both with a small dose of her gift._

"_Stop fooling around!" She ordered, as they withered in her aftermath. "We are on a serious mission." _

_I could feel her glaring at me, her thoughts hateful. "And if he is lying, I'll make sure to torture him all the way back to Volterra and leave Aro take care of the rest." She hissed menacingly in my ear, gripping my shoulder tightly._

"_I'm sorry Jane, but I'm afraid your generosity won't be needed." I quipped, before turning and glaring at them all. "Now shut up so I can concentrate!"_

_A few huffs and grumbles later, the thoughts of a woman not to far off came to me. _

_She was looking down at the child in her arms, who was curled up in her lap sobbing softly. _

"_Bella, honey it's alright. " She whispered softly, stroking the child's hair lovingly. "It was just a nightmare, shhh."_

_The little girl sobbed harder, clutching on to the woman as if her life depended on it. _

"_But that's not true, they really did kill daddy." _

'_What am I going to say to her now?' the woman thought franticly. 'I know it's only a matter of time until they find us again. I can't bear to see this poor little girl die. She doesn't deserve it. She so special, if only they would see…'_

"_I know honey, I know." The woman whispered to the child holding her tighter and letting out some tearless sobs of her own. _

_"I can't leave you die too," The little girl whispered brokenly. "You should just leave them take me."_

_The woman picked up the girl from her lap and held her out so she could look into the child's chocolate brown eyes as she spoke. _

"_Listen to me Isabella," She beseeched. "You will never say that again! You hear me?"_

_The little girl nodded her eyes widened._

"_It's you and me from here on out, and I will do what ever it takes to keep you safe." The woman told the girl, before pulling her to her chest._

"_I'm sorry, I love you." The little girl whispered looking up at the woman, while tears pooled from her eyes. _

"_I love you too, my little danger magnet." The woman whispered, kissing the top of the girls head. _

'_Someone has to save this sweet, sweet child. She can't die, she just can't.' The woman thought before singing the small girl back to sleep._

"_I've got something." I growled, turning around to the others. "Follow me."_

_I lead them away from the little coven as fast as I could, praying for the both of them._

_For at least tonight they were safe_

* * *

I slipped into my bedroom through the glass wall after my weekend of hunting. I was a little worse for wear, my dead heart heaver then when I had left. I threw my bag down on the floor, my set of clean clothes already on me after a bath in lake earlier.

As I went to grab my keys from the small table in my room, I noticed the local paper sat under them.

'_Body of Local Shopkeeper Found' _the headline read on the front page catching my interest.

'_The body of local shopkeeper Tim Wooden was found by popular hiking trail five miles from Forks yesterday. He was reported missing late Friday night by his wife claiming that he had never come home after work. The last person to see him was an employ at his shop, who told authorities that he had left early Friday to go hiking. After searching all weekend his body was finally found by authorities at 5:45 yesterday afternoon, about two miles from the trail. He had sustained a deep bite on the left side of his neck causing a meager lose of blood. The authorities have determined that cause of death was from an animal attack after finding wolf prints leading to and from the body. At this time the Authorities advise everyone to stay off hiking trails and the woods until the animal is captured._

I re-read the story several times, making sure I hadn't read it wrong.

_Deep bite on the left side of his neck._

_No other injuries were found._

_Wolf prints._

I ran down the stairs, paper in hand, into the living room where Esme was watching the news.

"Esme, what's going on?" I asked coming up behind her chair.

She turned towards me a sullen expression on her face, "We're hoping it's just a nomad, we tried to look for them last night but all we caught was some scents." She explained. "The wolf prints is a whole other thing entirely."

"You should've called me. I would've come home." I told her angrily.

"We didn't want to bother you." She sighed while she stood up and took the paper from my hand. "We just wanted you to be aware of what's going on. We're handling it; you don't need to inconvenience yourself."

She left me with a smile, hiding her real thoughts by thinking about redoing the kitchen.

I never ignored my family when it came to their safety. I would die for them all before I would see any of them in harms way. They all knew that very well, so it was ludicrous for them not to ask me for help.

As I rushed off to school, I decided with little thought that I would join them today.

* * *

_Edward, I knew you would come! Everyone else didn't believe me, but I know you still love us, even though you're so aloof these days!_ Alice thought happily bouncing in her seat.

"What are you so happy about now, Alice?" Rosalie asked, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, nothing Rose." Alice replied smiling widely at me.

"What is the ass going to grace us with his presence soon?" Rosalie asked bitingly, crushing the apple she had in her hand as she glared at me.

"Rose," Alice growled, shaking her head. _Ignore her Edward._

I looked away from the table entirely, ignoring _both _of my annoying sisters. Jasper and Emmett had gone off hunting to prepare for later, leaving only the three of us here today.

As Alice and Rose started fighting, I got up from the table and walked outside.

Everything was quite for a few minutes, until I heard a loud groan from someone and a gasp from another.

"Oh my god, Mike are you ok?" A voice I recognized as Isabella's asked sounding worried.

With them being out of sight, I instantly searched for Mike's thoughts, letting my curiosity get the better of me.

He was looking down at the black pavement blow him. It took me a moment to realize that he must've fallen.

His thoughts were centered on the stinging pain from his hands and knees. He felt as blood ran down his knees and the heels of his hands as he turned around to sit up. When his mind focused on Isabella's face, I knew I was going to have to step in.

'_Man Bella looks weird, I wonder if she doesn't like blood or something.'_ Mike thought as Isabella licked her lips, her eye's locking in on his blood stained jeans.

I knew that look on her face all to well.

It was desire mixed with her inner hunger.

The desire and inner hunger for his blood.

* * *

**A/N: So I know I made it a cliffy but I want the story to pick up from here. Also I wrote the ending before I watched the Vampire Diaries tonight, when I watched the school scene with Stefan and Alaric I was like dang it. But I'm keeping it, it will be different anyways. **

**Review please! Preview of next chapter if you do!**

**Also any questions I would be happy to answer, I'm trying to keep all the facts straight from the books. But some things might not be clear. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! No copyright infringement is intended!**


	6. The Wight of Us

**Sorry, I haven't updated no so long! I'm going to try and update at least twice a month. I'll post dates again on my profile. I've been getting tons of views, which is so exciting :D Thanks to all who are reading! ****I've listened to pretty much nothing but the eclipse soundtrack since it came out, so finding a song was kind of hard:P**

_**There are thieves, who rob us blind,and kings, who kill us fine,but steady, **_

_**the rights and the wrongsinvade us, as innocent song.I'm not ready, I'm not ready**_

_**For the weight of us, **_

_**for the weight of us, **_

_**for the weight of all of us.**_

_**There's a cold heart, buried beneath,and warm blood, running - are mine to keepprotected by silent sleep**_

_**The Wight of Us-Sanders Bohlke**_

* * *

**Chapter 6: The Wight of Us**

**Bella's POV**

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**My throat is burning so bad that I think I might have to leave school. I have never been this thirsty before. It might be because I haven't been around this many humans when I've needed to hunt. I'm just praying that no one around me gets a paper cut. I haven't ever smelled human blood before, and I'm afraid it will affect me badly if I do. **_

_**This wouldn't have been a problem if there hadn't been an attack Friday. Lisa was being overly cautious, and didn't think it was a good idea for us to go hunting. The last thing we would need to happen was for the Cullen to think it was one of us who killed the man. So, since last Wednesday I haven't had any blood. **_

_**After Sunday's news about the man being found, and the bite mark on his neck, Lisa refused for me to do anything until she talked to the Cullen's. So here I am sitting in my truck during lunch deciding….**_

I jumped as a tap sounded from my window. I looked over to see a waving and smiling Mike waiting for me.

'_Great just what I need,' _I thought to myself as I hopped out my truck slamming the door lightly.

"What's up Mike," I asked nicely, hiding my groan as his scent burned even more.

He looked down at his feet, shuffling them awkwardly, before looking up at me with a kind smile.

"I-I just wanted t-to make sure you were o-okay," He stuttered, looking down at the ground again. "I-I mean you don't look so well. Not that you don't look good! I mean you look great. Just-"

He trailed off, clearing his throat while I tried not to laugh at his expanse.

"That was really sweet of you to check on me Mike." I smiled, making his whole face light up. "I might go home though; I'm not feeling too well."

He nodded his head, and started to walk backwards. "Okay, well you know if you need anything-"

Before he could finish he tripped, falling down on all fours, letting out a loud groan.

"Oh my god! Mike are you ok?" I gasped, running over to him.

That's when it hit me.

The burn in my throat became unbearable; it felt like it was on fire. As Mike turned around towards me, my eyes focused in on the blood stains on his knees, and the blood dripping from his hands. Desire coursed trough me as the smell became stronger, and I found myself licking my lips.

It smelled so delectable; I wanted nothing more then a taste…..

In that moment something in me changed; my thoughts were no longer my own. They belonged to a demon inside me that came out of no where.

"Bella, are you alright?" Mike asked, breaking me out of my wild gaze.

I closed my eyes, trying to hold my breath, but his scent was so over powering.

"Yes Mike, perfectly fine," A voice I recognized as my own said, though the tone was a seductive purr.

I was trying to reel him in.

I opened my eyes, and they once again zeroed in on the blood that was dripping from his hands onto the ground, so painfully slowly….

If only I could have a taste….

That's when I felt two cold arms wrap around me, pushing me back against the brick wall of the school.

"Isabella, hold you're breath." A soft velvet voice told me. My eyes meeting with Edward Cullen's golden ones.

"No!" The demon inside me hissed back, trying to push him away.

"Isabella, hold your breath!" He growled this time, holding me in a firmer grip.

"No! Leave me go!" I snarled, still pushing against him with as much force as I could muster.

I needed that damn blood!

I could hear it dripping, and it smelled so appealing…

I pushed harder, only making him hold my arms so tightly that it caused me pain.

My growls turned into whimpers as his grip made me desperate.

Next thing I knew the pain was gone, and I was free.

I opened my eyes, and found Edward Cullen crouching in front of Mike talking to him in a low voice.

The demon inside me found its chance and pushed me forward; but just as I was about to move I felt Edward Cullen's tight grip on me once again.

"I don't think so." He hissed in my ear, as I watched Mike walk blindly inside the building in front of us.

I started thrashing and hissing trying to get away; but before I could get anywhere he was running with me in his arms. When he stopped, all I could see was trees around me. But even with Mike blood long gone, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I still needed it.

"Isabella, don't think about it." Edward hissed, keeping my arms locked at my side in a firm grip. "You are not a monster. Mike's your friend, not your meal. He has a family and a life to live. You can't take that away from him."

As the air around my cleared my head, the demon slowly subsided; but I still trashed against him growling and hissing.

When my whimpers turned into sobs, he let me go and I fell to the forest floor.

It was then that I realized what I had almost just done. The tears pooled from my eyes faster as I thought about what Lisa would say, what my father would've said. He always thought that I was so good, pure. My sobs grew louder as I thought of him, and I found myself curled up on the ground; my thoughts consumed with memories of the man who died in vain. The Volturi were right, I was a monster!

I had completely forgotten about Edward, until I felt myself being pulled up from the ground, and into a cold embrace.

"I'm so sorry." I managed to gasp, holding on to him as if my life depended on it.

"Shh Isabella, It's alright." Edward's beautiful velvet voice whispered gently in my ear.

I didn't know how long I sobbed in his arms, before I realized what was happening. I was in the arms of the vampire that hated me.

I moved out of his embrace in an instant, separating us by ten feet, before I sat down across from him.

He looked shocked, rather it was from me or his own actions I wasn't sure. But the shock soon left his face as he stood up instantly and start pacing in front of me.

"What have I done?" He muttered as if he were cursing, before he stopped and looked at me.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered brokenly, looking down at my feet.

He let out a strangled growl. "You should be." He snapped catching me off guard. I looked up to see him glowering at me.

"I know, I'm sorry!" I whispered helplessly, wrapping my arms around my knees as I brought them up to my chest. "I was going to leave school, but then he showed up at my car! He was leaving but he fell! Lisa's been so over protective since the man was killed on the trails! I haven't hunted and I should've known better! I'm so dumb, I should've known human blood would affect me the way it does other vampires! I'm a monster! What would my father think?"

I could feel is eyes on me as I rambled endlessly to basically a stranger.

Suddenly he was in front of me, holding out is hand for me to take.

"Follow me," He whispered.

I looked at him for a moment completely confused. His eyes were gentle, but his jaw just as rigged as the rest of his body. He looked like he was restraining himself from doing something.

"Why?"

"You are too weak right now. You need to hunt." He told me, pulling me off the ground by himself.

We stopped by a small stream where a family of deer was drinking from it. Without a word I jumped on the biggest one, draining it quickly.

The whole time I fed I could feel his eyes on me, making me uncomfortable. When I was finished I turned around, reluctantly, to face his cold stare.

"Leave give you some advice." He began, his voice filled with fierce emotion. "You are living among humans now! So no matter what your silly coven member thinks, you need to feed! A newborn is less dangerous then you exposing all of us to the world and a visit from the Volturi!"

"Epically in your case!" He snapped leaving me no time to respond. His eyes becoming so terrifying it made me look away.

I felt a light breeze flow by me just as his hand grasped my arm, making me tremble. His face was so close to mine that I could feel is rugged breathing on my face, his eyes glowing darkly. Though he looked terrifying, there was something about him that made my heart stutter; and it wasn't from fear.

"You could've made the biggest mistake of your life today." He whispered fiercely, his eyes turning from hatred to sorrow. "And trust me once it's done, it never goes away."

"Sure your eyes won't change color to remind you, but your guilt will be enough." His hand slowly inched towards my face, brushing it lightly. "This isn't something to take lightly, and from your break down ten minutes ago, you're not going to let this go. So next time don't listen to the words of someone who seriously seems to underestimate your needs!"

His words sent fresh tears into my eyes, but I refused to leave them fall. He had changed in the matter of moments again. He seemed to be so angry, but now he looked so gentle.

Our gazes bore into each others with so much intensity; it was hard to focus on anything else. His breathing stopped all together as I inched closer towards him. His hand still stroking my face so softly as if I might break. I was so lost in him it was frightening. There seemed to be a spark in between us; his touches making me haywire. The honey and lilac from his scent was making me dizzy, I didn't even know what I was doing.

It was in that moment that Edward broke away, putting a huge distance between us, leaving me breathless.

I watched as he punched a tree near by and let out an angry snarl that frightened me.

"What's wrong with me?" He gasped before turning towards me again. "Come on!"

He took off running without giving me time to ask where he was leading me.

I ran after him, following only his scent. He was much too fast for me.

I found him standing behind the trees that would lead be back to the schools parking lot.

"No one's around, if you hurry no one will see you." He told me, looking somber.

I nodded in response, and turned to leave.

"Wait," I said, snapping back to where he should've been.

But he was gone, leaving nothing behind but a trail of wind.

"Thank you." I whispered after a moment, before walking away.

**

* * *

**

**Edwards POV**

I ran into my room and slammed the door shut.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I got out some of frustration on the wall in front of me, punching three big holes in it.

Had I lost my mind?

I sat down on my black leather couch, pulling on my hair as I tried to calm myself down.

I let out a frustrated growl as I sat back up and flipped my couch over.

What was I doing with her? Had I really gone this insane?

I started tearing things apart and flipping furniture over as paced around my room.

After a few minutes I gained control and sat down with my head in my hands. I let out a small breath, and looked around at the destruction I had caused.

I was sitting in the middle of a war zone; everything I had was broken, torn, or strewn in a million different places.

I let out a growl of frustration, and pulled at my hair. I knew coming home was a bad idea. I had let myself get so close to her, so close. I felt so protective of her as I watched her cry. It was as if my body was pulled towards her without me controlling it.

I hadn't felt anything that strong for anyone on over fifty years.

I shook my head clear of all my thoughts and stood up off the ground, walking towards the window and jumping out into the stormy night.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Esme, **_

_**I know you're worried, but I assure you that I'm fine. Please tell Alice that if she doesn't stop checking on me, I won't write anymore. I knew what I was getting into when I joined, it's my life. **_

_**I can't tell you anymore then I already have; even though you all press endlessly. No one here even knows I have contact with all of you. There are reasons for why I am here that are known to me alone. Aro hasn't touched me since I've joined, and I hope to keep it that way. I must not make them believe that I have ulterior motives, so I have to be careful with my actions.**_

_**I am not like them, my eyes are still topaz as well as the beliefs that both you and Carlisle have instilled within me. Trust me, please that's all I ask. **_

_**Don't expect a letter soon; I have a hard enough time getting these few letters sent out. **_

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Edward**_

_I read through my letter quickly again, before placing envelope, and sealing it with wax. I carefully placed it inside the pocket of my shirt that was covered by my dark cloak. _

_As I stood, there was a swift knock at my room door. I walked across the space over to the door slowly, rolling my eyes at Felix's useless thoughts. _

"_What?" I inquired sharply, as I swung the charcoal door open. _

"_Aro, has requested your presence." He smirked, suddenly blocking his thoughts from me._

_With a hard nod, I stepped over the threshold, and followed him through the dark hall. _

_As we entered the antechamber, I could feel a shift in everyone's thoughts. The atmosphere in the main room was tense. Every single thought around me controlled, as if they were all equally hiding something important. _

_The guard was centered in on Marcus, Caius, and Aro; making me feel like an unwelcome stranger. _

_Aro rose from his seat and stepped forward; the guard following him. _

"_Aro, what is the meaning of this?" I inquired quickly, stopping in the middle of the room._

_Aro smirked. "How I love your gift. How wonderful it must be to know something is astray just from the minds around."_

"_Don't beat around the bush, Aro!" Marcus snapped his thoughts filled with hatred towards me._

"_Calm down everyone. " Aro instructed, turning towards them with a hard smile. "No need for such haste."_

"_This is nothing but a small misunderstanding, after all." he smiled, turning towards me with an evil glint in his black eyes. _

_I stood still as stone, listening for some kind of indication to what he was talking about. _

"_I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean." I said reluctantly, my hands forming into fists behind my back. _

_Aro laughed airily, walking towards me. "Well you see some of the guard is concerned about your reasons for being here."_

"_I can assure you that all my intentions are honorable, Aro." I spoke quickly, without missing a beat. _

_A scoff came from the raised floor, and Jane stepped forward._

"_I've witnessed first hand your unreliable behavior!" She hissed, glowering at me._

_Aro moved towards her, laying a firm hand on her shoulder. "Calm now dear one, I'm sure Edward can explain himself."_

"_Aro knew all of my intentions when I joined." I explained, glaring at all of them intently. "Of course I differ on some issues, but I'm still here for the common goal."_

_Aro knew that I had different reasons for being here, but I had made sure to leave Isabella clear of my thoughts until after I had joined. He knew that I had wished to save the innocent, though I wanted to bring order to all those who disobeyed the law. What he didn't know was that I was here to protect her as well as the others who were just as innocent. Though there weren't many of those._

_Most beings would say that my reasoning's were irrational or insane; but for me, I saw a path that meant something. That lead somewhere, other then the bleak existence I had once lived. In saving Isabella for instance, I would be atoning for some sin. I would at least be doing something. _

_Aro clapped his hands together happily, and turned towards the others. "I told you from his thoughts that he shares our common goal! There's no need to worry."_

_Ciaus hissed and slammed his fist into his chair. "Aro, all you care about is his gift! His connections alone are enough for concern! How do we know that he isn't spreading information around and trying to end us all for good?"_

"_If the boy's intentions are as honorable as he states, then he should have no problem opening his mind up to you again!" Marcus added to Aro. _

_All eyes turned towards me once again, leaving me frozen. _

_I knew that this would be the end for me. All my thoughts would be flowing through to Aro, showing him what I was truly doing. _

_I walked forward without fear, ready for death. Maybe Carlisle was right…_

_I stopped in front of Aro, my hand held out, ready for it to end. _

_Everything felt like it was going in slow motion. His hand was coming towards mine so slowly, and just as it was about to grasp it, the doors to the antechamber opened revealing Heidi and a coven of three vampires._

"_Sorry for the interruption master." Heidi apologized. "I found these three outside waiting to gain entrance."_

"_Ah, very well Hiedi." Aro nodded, dropping his hand and walking towards our visitors. "Welcome to Volterra, what brings you to us?"_

_The tall, dark haired male stepped forward, making himself known as the leader of the coven._

"_We have some news that might interest you." He said, his voice filled with a French accent. He turned and smirked at the other two, all three of their thoughts going towards a young girl running in the woods._

_I let out a snarl without thinking._

"_What is it Edward?" Aro asked, moving back towards me. _

_I held up a finger for him to wait, taking in the little covens now confused thoughts. They had heard the news of the strange girl the Volturi were after and were lucky enough to find Isabella in the woods. They wanted to be rewarded and honored for the find._

"_They've found the girl we've been after." I told Aro hesitantly. "They wished to come here and tell us, in hopes of being rewarded."_

"_Rewarded for what? Finding her and then leaving her go, like you've done on countless occasions?" Alec hissed at me, before glaring at our visitors. _

"_They know where they were headed." I answered smoothly. _

"_How does he know all this?" The redheaded female hissed, cursing me for tell them their true desire. _

"_We ask the questions here!" Ciaus said calmly, examining them closely. "Do you know who you're dealing with? Show some respect and you might be left free!"_

_The guard moved behind him, standing strong for an attack; but Aro stepped in._

"_Now now, calm down." Aro said, before turning to me again. "What else Edward?"_

_A collective hiss rang through the guard, but I ignored it, smiling at Aro. _

"_Even with what they know, they've broken the law." I smirked, giving the little coven away. "All three have showed themselves to countless humans, and recently went on a killings spree in South America."_

"_Very interesting," Aro mused, sizing the three coven members up. "Well I must say that Edward has proven himself fateful to us all. I think he's proven his point." _

_He smiled at me, before turning to the others for their approval of his opinion. A collective band of hisses rang out through the room, Jane and Alec communicating silently with each other for an attack. _

"_Aro, that is hardly enough-" Marcus began, but was interrupted by Aro._

"_Leave Edward prove himself to us." Aro said, before turning to me with apprising eyes. "Edward, I'm putting you in charge of finding the girl. Bring the three nomads with you, as well as the guard. Once you've killed her, set the nomads free. The formation they've given us pays for their debts."_

_A round of protesting thoughts ran through the room, Jane's the worst. _

_The mess I had gotten myself in would be hard to get out of this time. But I was ready to die, as long as Isabella got away._

"_Yes master," I muttered, bowing to Aro._

_Without another word I turned and walked out of the room. _

_Isabella had to be saved. _

**

* * *

**

**Bella's PO**V

When I had come home, I put on my old holy sweats and fell asleep, wanting to rid my mind of everything.

I didn't know how long ago that was. I had woken up with a feeling I had never felt before.

It was a guilt filled, hatful feeling; and I couldn't shake it. I had almost killed someone. And even though I knew it wasn't right to, I was resenting Lisa.

I should've put my own needs for hunting ahead of her silly worries. The more I thought about everything, the more I knew that Edward was right.

For whatever reason, the boy who I thought hated me had saved me.

He made me feel safe…

That was something I hadn't felt for a long time.

I shook my head to rid thoughts of him, and focus on the real problem.

I had almost killed someone.

I stood up and walked over towards my full length mirror, examining myself.

Nothing seemed to have changed; my hair was still brown, as were my eyes. My face was still heart shaped, my top lips was fuller then it should've been.

I looked the same, but I didn't feel the same.

I half expected to look in the mirror to see glowing red eyes and a different person looking back at me.

After another minute of close examination, a piece of paper caught my eye on my bed.

I walked over quickly noticing Lisa's handwriting instantly.

_**Bella,**_

_**I didn't want to wake you, but I took a trip to the store. **_

_**Esme Cullen came into the shop today and we talked a bit.**_

_**Her coven is out looking for the nomad. So we have the ok to hunt. **_

_**Be ready for when I get home.**_

_**Love you,**_

_**Lisa**_

I crushed the note into my hand, through the dust into the trashcan. I felt tears come to my eyes again, as I thought of hunting.

Edward was right; I wasn't going to leave this go.

**Thanks for reading! I hope it was worth the long wait!**

**Review if you want! From here on out Edward and Bella should be interacting with each other. Sorry it took so long for that to happen. Also the wolves should show up somewhere in the next two or three chapters! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! No copyright infringement is intended!**


	7. Closer

**A/N: I always feel like I'm saying sorry for late updates. I'm going away in two weeks so I want to get another chapter at least up by then. Thanks for staying around even though I'm unreliable with my updates. **

**I can't even begin to say how excited I am with how many views and stuff I get. It really means so much to me. I put myself into my writing and get lost in it, so for other people to enjoy it is just about the greatest thing ever. **

**If you're reading some of my other things, I might start up Renesmee's story again. I posted a new story, that I'll update when I need a break from this one. **

**Thanks again for reading! **

_**

* * *

**_

_**Stranded in this spooky town, Stoplights are swaying and the phone lines are down,**_

_**This floor is crackling cold, she took my heart, I think she took my soul,**_

_**With the moon I run far from the carnage of the fiery sun,**_

_**Driven by the strangle of vein showing no mercy I do it again, **_

_**Open up your eye, you keep on crying baby, I'll bleed you dry,**_

_**Skies they blink at me, I see a storm bubbling up from the sea,**_

_**And it's coming closer,**_

_**And it's coming closer.**_

_**Closer by Kings of Leon**_

**Chapter 7, Closer**

**Bella's POV**

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**It's been two weeks since I've opened you. And to tell the truth I don't know what to write…. I don't know how to I feel….I don't know what to think…. I just really don't know anything anymore…. **_

_**My old life is gone, and this new one is turning out to be harder then I thought. It's haunting me, every moment of every day. I feel just so empty, so guilty…. I almost killed someone.. Me…. I was supposed to be good… Pure.. I never thought I had THAT side to me. And now that I know it exists it scares the hell out me. **_

_**What if it comes back again? I could barley control it then, with him even holding me back. Sure, it helped to have fifty years on animal blood, and not being a full vampire.. But it was still hard, so hard…**_

I put my diary down next to me on the couch and stared out our big window, trying to hold back tears. It had been like this ever since that day happened. I was just lost… It was awful. But I knew that I deserved every moment of that feeling. I deserved to feel every horrible emotion for what I had almost done.

The front door banged open, making me jump; as Lisa appeared in front of me, looking furious.

"Guess who stopped by the shop today, before I got off?" Lisa snarled.

I shrugged my shoulders, turning away from her angry gaze.

"The principal of Forks High!" She yelled. "He wished that you felt better soon, and hoped you would back to school in a few days! Would you care to explain why you haven't shown up in TWO WEEKS!"

"Not really," I mumbled, looking down at my lap.

I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to deal with this. After _that_ day, I couldn't face all those humans. So I just never showed up. I took all the calls from the office, claiming that I was Lisa and that 'Isabella' was sick. The calls from Jessica and Mike I deleted without even listening to the messages they left. I made it look like I left everyone morning, and at night pulled out my books and pretended to do homework and study.

It was a piece of cake really; well until now, it was..

"This has got to stop!" She hissed, as I looked down at my hands in my lap. "Isabella Marie, look at me while I am speaking to you!"

I snapped my head up, glaring at her.

"I don't know what has gotten into you, but it needs to stop!" she screamed, practically trembling from anger. "You've been a ghost for two weeks! You won't speak, you'll barely eat, and apparently, you've been ditching school! This is drawing huge attention to yourself, something we don't need! Not to mention the fact that you disobeyed me last week and went hunting alone!"

I shot up then, and was about to yell at her; but she held up her hand and continued.

"You've disobeyed me and lied so much in the past weeks, I don't know what to think!" she shrieked in a tone only a vampire would understand. "I knew things have been bad between us since the Cullen incident, but I never thought you'd take that distance this far!"

That was the last straw for me.

"What have I've done that is that bad!" I yelled back, stomping my foot. "So I haven't exactly been honest with you for once in fifty years, and this is what I get! I admit that I've made a few white lies, but that's nothing compared to what could've happened a few weeks ago! I'm done with your rules, and orders. For once, I disobey, and you freak! I'm fifty years old, I don't need to be babysat! And I certainly don't need to be yelled at by you right now!"

Before she could get a word in, I turned my back to her, snatching up my journal. I ran to the front door and put my shoes on.

"This conversation is not finished!" Lisa yelled, blocking the door.

"Yes it is!" I snapped, grabbing my keys from the hook before she could, and ran at vampire speed to the back door in the kitchen.

I turned around just as she made it in front of me.

"I'll go back to school tomorrow, but not because you ordered me to!" I snapped. "From now on, I make my own decisions without you!"

I was surprised to see that she wasn't waiting at my truck to stop me when I reached it. Without hesitating, I hopped in and floored it out of the driveway.

As I drove down the highway, my tears started to fall once again.

School. That one word makes teenagers and kids alike groan all over the world. Today I finally knew how they felt.

I was the center of attention all morning long. I couldn't take all the looks, and the whispers as I walked by. All I could think of was how easily I could slip and kill one of them without a thought.

When Mike came up to me, I thought I was going to break down.

"Bella, I missed you." Mike smiled, stopping me outside of English. "I never got to talk to you after that day. I'm so sorry! I really don't know much of what happened after I fell. All I remember was Edward Cullen telling me to go see the nurse. Everything's pretty blurry before and after that."

I nodded, smiled, and lied at all the right moments. For once, it felt like I was actually acting the way I should've before. On the outside, I played it cool, but on the inside, I was dying. The whole conversation all I could think about was that day. And as much as I hate to admit it, a tiny part of me was thinking about what his blood smelled like.

By the time lunch came, I just wanted to go home. I had a huge amount of assignments piled up from the weeks I missed, so I used that as an excuse when Jessica asked me if I was going to sit with them at lunch.

I couldn't sit across from Mike Newton at a table, and not think about how I almost ate him for lunch two weeks prior.

I found myself in the small library, staring blankly out of the small window next to my little table.

At least here, I was alone, and I didn't have to put on my façade for everyone. I was free to feel empty and guilty without worrying about someone watching me.

After being zoned out for a while, my eyes refocused, and I found myself looking at Edward Cullen.

He was standing in front of his car in the parking lot, his striking hair blowing slightly in the wind, as he watched me.

He as always seemed so empty, and so rigged; like stone. It was like he had this invisible wall around him that no one got through. But for some reason, he's expression looked different as he watched me. His face was filled with sorrow and such a fiery spark in his eyes. For some reason it caused me great pain to see him look so sad.

It brought me back to our locked gazes in the woods that day. The way his eyes had burned into mine….

That's when I felt something tap my shoulder, making me jump.

"What are you looking at so intently?" Alice Cullen's voice giggled, as she smiled brightly at me.

"Alice," I smiled wearily, as she sat down across from me. "You scared me."

I looked back out the window, only to see that he had disappeared.

"It takes a lot to scare one of us." She giggled again, catching my attention again. "So how are you?"

I swallowed hard, avoiding her eyes. "I'm fine."

"Really, I heard you weren't well. Can you even get sick?" She asked curiously, while giving me a knowing look.

"Um, not really." I whispered looking down at my hands. "I just needed a few days away."

"Oh, well we all need to get away sometimes." She replied smoothly, sounding not too convinced.

"So, how are you?" I asked after a moment.

"Good. No new signs of the nomad yet." She whispered excitedly.

I nodded, smiling back politely.

She was silent for another moment, before her expression changed and she leaned towards me.

"Bella, I hate to ask this, but," She frowned, her eyes filled with worry. "Did Edward say or do something to you?"

My mouth opened with a snapped, my eyes winding in horror.

"You know I can't see you, but when you're with someone I can make out a little." She explained, looking at me with concern. "It's very blurry, and I didn't get much other then that he was just with you. I just wanted to make sure that he's not the reason that you haven't came back."

I sat there stunned, trying to find my voice. At least she hadn't seen what had actually happened, though it was odd that he hadn't told his coven.

"Alice," I began, my voice so high with panic that the old librarian she'd me.

"Bella, you must understand that Edward cut's himself off from everyone." She whispered earnestly. "He doesn't even interact with our family. You can't take it personal. He has a wall up, and it doesn't crack for anyone."

I took in her words with interest. He cracked for me, and if that was so unusual, the question was why?

"Alice, I promise that he did nothing but help me." I said sincerely.

She looked completely dumbfounded at my words.

"You mean he helped you?" She asked slowly.

"Yes," I whispered, before clearing my throat nervously.

She looked at me with the same look, still as a statue for a moment, before putting her arms on the small table and moving towards me.

"Bella, did you know Edward before you came here." She inquired, her forehead furrowed.

"No," I answered slowly. "Why?"

She seemed to be thinking when the bell rang, and she hopped up.

"Sorry to bother you, Bella." She smiled. "Glad you're back."

I snatched all my things, and threw them into my bag, walking after her.

"Alice wait!" I called, but I lost her as I reached the door in the flood of students.

I sighed, closing my eyes as I tired to clear my head.

What was with her cryptic words? And why did she ask if I knew Edward? And why did Edward help me, if according to Alice he didn't even interact with his own coven?

When I opened my eyes, the halls were almost clear, making me gasp.

I had to go to another building for biology.

I ran at a human pace, dreading being in the presence of Edward Cullen again.

When I walked in the classroom, all eyes turned to me, and I blushed profoundly.

"Nice of you to join us Ms. Swan." Mr. Banner said sarcastically.

"Sorry, I'm late." I mumbled, as I walked to my table.

Edward, was the only person who didn't look at me. Even as I sat down, he was staring intently at his biology book.

I tried to pay attention to the class, but my head was in a haze that was centered on the vampire sitting next to me.

The last fifteen minutes of the class, Mr. Banner instructed us to answer the questions at the end of the lesson, using our partners if needed.

The room filled with voices of the other students, who were talking amongst themselves. The first five minutes Mr. Banner came over and filled me in on what I needed to do to be caught up, encouraging me to ask another student for help. Edward looked so cold that he refrained from asking him to offer.

We sat in silence, Edward as still as ever. I was battling my need to thank him inside my head. Unable to decide if I should.

When the bell rang, he sprung up and I jumped at the chance.

"Hey, Edward." I said, making him drop is book back on the table.

He started at me expectedly making me nervous.

'I, um, just never got the chance to thank you for the other day." I explained, blushing under his gaze. "So, thank you."

He stared at me for a moment, and then his face turned furious.

"There's no need to thank me, for doing what was right for once." He snapped harshly, catching me off guard.

He snatched up his book quickly, and stormed off, leaving me standing there shocked.

**Edwards's POV**

_**October, 29th**__** 2005,**_

_**It's been five weeks since the incident with Isabella. Two of those weeks, she was gone. As much as I wish I hadn't wondered where she was, how she was, if she was coming back; I did. Everyday I waited for her to show up and nothing. I even considered finding where she lived just to make sure she was alright. I knew that a person like her wouldn't take what happened lightly. It was wrong hoping to catch a glimpse of her when I knew I shouldn't want that. But there was many things I shouldn't want or do these days. **_

_**During the time she was gone though, things went back to normal between my family and I. After I never showed, they all gave up hope again. Though Alice knew that I was with Isabella, and when she tried to question me, I ignored her as if she wasn't there. It was good for something to go back to normal, for some part of my wall to come back up again. **_

_**Two weeks ago, when Isabella did show up, it was odd. I knew she was back because of the constant thoughts of others around me, interested to see if she really had been sick. Even though I knew that it was impossible for her to be unwell, she looked like she had been to hell and back. I knew it was wrong to watch her, but when I saw her staring out the window of the library at lunch, I couldn't help it. I was shocked to see such a beautiful girl look so wrong. Her eyes were empty, nothing in her chocolate brown eyes. She looked miserable. **_

_**Some part of me craved to take all her pain away, and make her feel safe and happy, but I knew I couldn't. I didn't know what was wrong with me. It was driving me insane. The only thing I could think of was that she was such a vital part of my past that it was inevitable for me to feel that way. But I should feel nothing. **_

_**She caught me staring at her which made me angry with myself for leaving her take over me. Then the worst thing possible happened next; I never thought that Alice would go to her for information, but I guess desperate times, calls for desperate measures. **_

_**I was so angry at Alice and myself, that when Isabella called my name I turned without thinking. I should've walked away, but no. Her gratitude only made things worse. **_

_**It's now been another two weeks since I've spoken to Isabella, and she seems even more lost as the time passes. I mustn't break though, because I know if I do, that there's no turning back….**_

The darkness fell around me as I sat my journal down. I sighed, looking around the beautiful meadow around me. I had found the place awhile back and came here ever since when I really needed to get away. Though even surrounded by so much beauty, I felt nothing. That was how my world used to be, how it was supposed to be. Only one person had made me feel again, and I didn't like it at all.

With a groan, I fell into the long grass, laying down on my back. It was a dark, cool night, the full moon only making an appearance every once in awhile.

Her pain was torturing me. She didn't deserve to be tortured, and miserable. She should've been happy, enjoying her freedom. I hated her father for giving her this curse, she out of everyone didn't need to be a demon. I never agreed with the choices her father had made, getting her mother pregnant, and Isabella killing her during her birth.

It wasn't right, but at least he was pained by the young woman's death. But he had his Bella, and that was all that mattered to him in the end. Though it wasn't his intention in the first place to have a child. How he didn't kill the woman before was beyond me, it wasn't like he was drinking bunny's before his daughter came along.

I groaned again, placing my right arm over my face. I needed to stop thinking about her. She was killing me slowly, without even doing anything.

_Think of something else_, I told myself repeatedly, only leading me to think about how I couldn't hear her thoughts.

I had never thought about it during my time with the guard; but I now remember never actually hearing her thoughts.

Of course, I hadn't look for them. Her coven member always came to me instantly when I got close to them. During those encounters, I was so busy trying to get the guard away from them as quickly as possible.

I mused over the subject for a while, turning my thoughts away from the memories from my time at the Volturi for once.

It was then that I was sitting there lost in deep thoughts that something I thought would never happen again did.

A random melody began to form in my head. It was only a small little bit of a tune, but it was something.

I hadn't composed since I joined the Volturi; after nothing gave me inspiration anymore, everything inside me was blank.

I quickly picked up my journal again, and wrote out the notes of the sorrowful melody.

**Bella's POV**

It was Saturday night, just before Halloween. During this week, there had been another disappearance, and the body was yet to be found. With the thought of another vampire lurking around, I was a little apprehensive of going out on my own; but I was venturing out anyway.

It was pitch black when I climbed into the cab of my truck. The full moon making an appearance every once in awhile as if to fit in with the eerie setting. After driving for a while, my truck started to slow down, and I soon found myself on the side of the road stuck. I turned the key to start the engine, but got nothing but a loud groan from it. I sighed, taking the keys out and throwing them across the cab.

I sat there for a while trying to figure out what to do. I didn't have any clue on how to fix a car, let alone this old thing. I got out and walked to the front of my truck, opening up the hood. I stared at it for five minutes,: trying to make sense of all of parts.

I stepped away from the truck and leaned up against it, feeling uncomfortable. I looked all around me, my eyes-only meeting with the dark forest. I listened for anything out of the ordinary, but once again came up with nothing. I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that was around me, so I quickly took what I needed from my truck, and made a plan to come back and tow it tomorrow.

I ran as fast as I could through the darkness, trying to find a familiar path. I stopped suddenly when the scent of a human caught me notice. After taking in a few more whiffs, I noticed that it didn't smell right. There was something off about the smell. It had the appeal that blood did to it, but it didn't smell appetizing.

Against my better judgment, I followed the scent, and I soon found myself standing in front of a collapsed tree. The sense of unease was back as reached down to lift up the uprooted tree.

I stared in horror at what was before me.

Under the tree, was the girl that had went missing a few days ago. She had been carelessly thrown under the tree, her neck covered in dried blood, with a huge bit mark deep into her flesh.

Without thinking, I dropped the tree, and let out a piercing scream. I cupped my hands over my mouth to stop myself, just in time to hear a long howl not too far off in the forest.

I panicked not knowing what to do. Should I leave the girl here? Should I go home and talk to Lisa about it? Should I run away and forget about her?

My rapid thoughts were cut short, when I heard what sounded like the footfalls of some large animals coming towards me. I turned around, just when three huge horse sized wolves came into the clearing I had found the girl. The center on walked forward, his black form walking towards me.

He began with letting out a low growl that soon formed into a loud roar.

The other two followed his lead, trapping me as I stood trembling in fear.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! No copyright infringement is intended!**


	8. Yet

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've just been busy and distracted since I last updated. Good news is that I'm back, and I'm excited to start the next chapter. This part of the story should span out into probably three chapters, that's including this one. I have it all pretty much planned out. **

**Thanks again to everyone who reads, reviews, and adds all of my stories! **

****

If you get a chance, please review and tell me what you think! Feedback always keeps me going!

_

* * *

__All attempts have failed, All my heads are tails,_

_She's got teary eyes, I've got reasons why._

_I'm losing ground and gaining speed,_

_I've lost myself or most of me,_

_I'm headed for the final precipice,_

_But you haven't lost me yet_

_Yet by Switchfoot_

**Goodbye, Apathy Chapter 8: Yet**

**

* * *

**

Bella's POV

_I_ was in one of those moments where everything seems to move painfully slow. I could see and feel everything going on around me, but it was all a blur. They were all three coming for me, and yet I was rooted in the same spot staring wide eyed. I could hardly think, the only thing I could comprehend was that this was the end. This was how I would die.

It was a strange realization for me. I had always thought that the Volturi would be the last thing I saw before my life was taken from me. It was odd to think that this was how it was all going to end.

I would die alone in the dark forest, the past month of my life spent in anger, pain, and sorrow. So many mistakes and I now had no time to make them right.

As the huge black wolf started to pounce, both Lisa and my father's faces flashed through my mind.

_I'm sorry, _I thought to both of them, as I closed my eyes and waited for the pain.

But it never came.

Instead I heard the three wolves growl, and something let out a terrifying snarl. I felt as something grasped my waist, and I was instantly airborne. When I opened my eyes, instead of me finding myself in the jaws of the wolves, I saw Edward Cullen's face.

I let out a gasp, and looked behind us to see the woleves running after us as we flew from tree top to tree top. It was an amazing and scary site at the same time. I felt numb in Edward's arm, as the realization of almost being killed began to weigh heavy on my mind.

Edward continued running at lightening speed as it started to pour down rain. I tightened my grip on him, as the sounds of thunder grew louder. I watched his movements, amazed by the speed. I observed how tight his angular jaw was set, and the spark of determination in his eyes that never seemed to fade. His hair was being pushed back in the harsh wind, making it fly in different directions.

When I saw his eyes flicker in my direction for a second, it dawned on me that I had been gawking at him. Hiding my embarrassment, I looked behind us through the many branches and down to the forest floor. The wolves were still running after us, just waiting for any sign of weakness. A shiver ran down my spine, as my thoughts went back to an image of them running towards me.

I was shocked when I saw them suddenly slow down and stop. My last glimpse of them only lasted for a moment, but it was enough to terrify me. The last thing I heard from them, was their piercing howls.

A few minutes later, Edward slowly made his way to the ground. Once he jumped off the final branch, he set me down quickly, standing in front of me rigged.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He spat, his eyes glowing with anger. "Didn't anyone make it clear to you that you can never cross the treaty line? This could possibly put us all in danger!"

I stared at him in shock for a moment, before my whole body began to shake.

"I didn't know anything about a treaty line, you have to believe me." I begged, running my shaky hand through my sopping hair.

He let out a hiss. "Don't lie to me Isabella. I know my family would have told you something that important!"

Under his angry gaze, tears started to fall from my eyes, making me feel weak.

"I'm not lying!" I cried, looking at him through blurry eyes. "I swear to you, I would never have crossed the line if I knew I shouldn't have. What even were those things? I thought werewolves were practically extinct!"

We stood in silence, me on edge as I waited for him to respond. The sounds of thunder and lightening dulled the sounds of my sobs, as I tried to calm down. With no luck, I backed up until I found a tree trunk for support.

I rested my head against it, trying to calm down my breathing. I didn't know if Edward was still standing there or if he had left. I was too upset to care at this point. I almost died, and now everyone was in danger because of me again.

I felt a surge of anger course through me as the thought crossed through my mind.

Why did I always put everyone in danger? It wasn't fair to them, it wasn't right! Why was I cursed with almost killing everyone I had ever gotten close to? Why couldn't I have just died myself and saved everyone the trouble?

The next thing I knew I was letting my anger out on the tree in front of me. I was punching it, kicking it, and screaming as I brought it down to the ground with the force of my attack.

I hated who I was! I hated this god damn life!

As I looked at the fallen tree through my blurry eyes, I fell down onto my knees, my sobs becoming uncontrollable again.

I didn't know how long I had been lying with my face in the dirt, when I felt a cold hand lightly grasp my shoulder.

"Shh, everything is going to be fine." Edward whispered.

I let out a whimper in response, not daring to move.

I felt a shiver run through me suddenly, when his soft hand brushed the hair from the side of my face. I turned my head, and looked up to find him kneeling over me. Without a word, he scooped me up and sat down, laying me across his lap. As my sobs subsided, he started to hum the most beautiful, haunting melody.

I soon found myself falling into coma like state, putting me to sleep.

**

* * *

**

Edward's POV

_There_ were no words to describe the pain I felt for the broken girl that was unconscious in my arms. For once in my life I truly knew how it felt to be speechless.

When I heard the screams, I didn't hesitate to go check out the situation. When the minds of the three connected wolves hit me, I knew what I was dealing with.

I couldn't even begin to say how horrible it was to watch as they cornered Isabella, who stood there helplessly, waiting to be taken to her death.

All I remembered was running as fast as I could to reach her. I didn't care if I died, all that mattered was her. I snarled at them as I grabbed her, making it just in time to the top of the tree. As I ran with her, I listened to their angry thoughts, praying that they wouldn't do just as she had, and cross the line.

I could feel her breath on my neck, her scent had me surrounded. When I felt her eyes on me, I couldn't help but look to see if she was alright. But instead of terror, I saw a look of amazement on her face .When I felt the heat coming from her cheeks and neck, I knew she was blushing, but I didn't know why.

I had to clear my head at that point, and was glad to listen as the three wolves decided to stop. I knew though that it wasn't the end of them, we were all in trouble now.

Once I hit the ground, I pushed her away immediately, ignoring my strange urge to pull her back.

_She's put us all in danger, _I had to remind myself. _She knew what she was doing when she crossed the treaty line._

As I yelled at her, I surprised how much pain I felt.

_I must stick to my act. I can't be a fool who crumbles at her every whim. _I told myself repeatedly.

I didn't know what to say to her, once I realized that she really had no clue what the treaty line even was. I just watched as she backed away, using a tree trunk for support. I desperately wanted to wipe all her tears away, but I stood there retrained, knowing I couldn't.

I watched as her sadness, turned into anger as she broke the tree behind her down. The pure, raw emotion she let out as she screamed was familiar to me. I suddenly saw myself years back, lost in a world that I didn't understand, and didn't want to be apart of.

When the tree fell down at her feet she fell down with it. Her was face down in the dirt, and her hands grasping the muddy forest floor. Her cries made me long to hold her, to tell her that it was alright, to let her know she wasn't alone.

And for once in the past fifty years, I didn't resist doing something I desired, but knew was wrong.

I walked forward, kneeling over her protectively. I soon held her in my arms, humming the sweet, tortuous melody I had come up with hours before.

_Thunder_ struck in the distance, bringing back to the present. I carefully lifted her into my arms, and ran back towards my house, trying not to jostle her.

I crept through the dark house quickly, reaching my room and flipping on the light switch. I gently laid her soaked, slumbering body onto my black leather couch. I waited until she looked settled, before walking away.

I threw my slightly damp journal out of my pocket and onto a random shelf. I snatched up some dry clothes from a drawer, and made my way down the hall.

I opened the organized closet, and grabbed as unused blanket. I then hastily discarded my wet clothes for my dry ones, feeling odd from changing in the hallway.

When I walked back into my room, I turned off the light, and walked towards Isabella; covering her body with the blanket.

I watched her for a moment, sighing and grasping at my hair. _What was I doing?_

I turned away, grabbing my cell phone from one of my shelves.

I closed the door a bit, and made my way downstairs, hitting Carlisle's number on speed dial.

"_Edward, what's wrong?" _He asked immediately when he answered.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Carlisle, I hate to interrupt your hunting trip, but I need all of you to come home now."

"_What happened?" _He asked after a moment. _"Is it the Volturi, the nomad?"_

"No," I sighed, leaning against the glass wall. "Isabella Swan had a run in with the wolves from La Push tonight."

"_Edward, what happened? Is she alright?" _

I held my tongue for a moment, trying to get his answer out as calm as possible.

"She crossed over the treaty line," I hissed, my voice cold. "Would you care to explain why she was unaware that it existed?"

I could hear nothing but silence on the other line. I was about to hang up, when he spoke again.

"_We'll talk about it once we're all home." _

"Carlisle," I snapped, but the line was already dead.

I counted to ten trying not to break anything.

I would get to voice my thoughts when they came back.

I knew the next phone call I was going to have to make wasn't going to be pleasant one. So I made my way to the kitchen instantly, opening the drawer under the phone that hung on the wall. When I pulled out the phone book, I looked up the name of the last residents of Isabella's home. I dialed the number, waiting for a familiar voice to answer.

"_Hello," _She answered pleasantly.

"Hello, is this Lisa Swan?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"_Yes, who's this?"_

"Um, this is Edward Cullen," I said awkwardly. "Isabella is here with me, and I think it would be a good idea for you to come over."

"_Is she's alright?" _the woman as hesitantly.

"She alright, just shook up." I sighed. "But I really think it's in your best interest to get over here as soon as possible."

"_I'll be right over." _She said, hanging up right after.

The house was brightly lit and welcoming, by the time she came bursting in. She looked exactly same as remembered, though her face held nothing but concern for the sleeping girl upstairs. When she got a good look at me, she gasped.

I watched as her thoughts turned to a distant memory of me, on I would have rather not saw ever again.

"Well you're certainly the last person I ever expected to see here." She told me, after a moment of silence.

"Hello again Lisa, I hope you're well." I said politely.

She shook her head, smiling slightly. "Well I was, until I found out that my daughter was in trouble once again."

_I hope she's alright. He doesn't seem to be acting like anything's wrong. But then again the boy looks dead. Much more lifeless then when we last met… _She thought, as I attempted to block her out.

"She's upstairs asleep," I told her, in my usual cold, dead tone.

She sighed in relief, thanking god that Isabella was safe.

Without another word, I beckoned for her to follow me, and made my way upstairs.

As I pushed the door open, Isabella muttered slightly in her sleep, before turning to lie on her back. She was beautiful glowing in the darkness. Her hair was fanned out still slightly damp and muddy. Just as her face was, her lovely features smudged with mud.

"What happened to her?" Lisa asked, as she came up beside me.

"It's along story," I sighed, watching her chest rise and fall with each breath. "If I hadn't heard her scream, it would have been too late."

The merest thought of her dead was too painful for me to even comprehend. The thought was like a taboo word that was never meant to be heard.

I turned to Lisa, needing a distraction, and found her completely focused on Isabella.

"She's safe for now," I whispered, watching the confusion on the woman's face.

"What do you mean she's safe for now?" she asked, turning to face me.

I shook my head, taking one last glance at Isabella.

"My family should be here soon, we'll talk then." I told her walking towards the door.

She called my name, making me turn around again.

"That's all you're going to leave me with?" She fumed, glaring at me. "You tell me that she was almost killed tonight, and that's the most you can tell me?"

I stood in shock for a moment, trying to distract myself from her angry thoughts.

"You're going to wake her," I muttered, as Isabella began to turn restlessly. "Like I said, we'll talk later."

I walked away, ignoring the string of profanities she was muttering.

_I think the red; fit him better then the gold. He seems so cold. _Lisa thought, making my anger rise.

Thankfully, my family's minds also joined the group, and came pouring in the front door seconds later.

I stood at the bottom of the steps with my arms crossed over my chest, glowering at them all.

"So who would like to explain to me why the hell the treaty was broken tonight?" I inquired coolly.

The next thing I knew, thoughts were being thrown at me by everyone in the room.

_Edward, I so sorry! I can't believe we forgot to tell her! _Alice thought frantically, listening for any sounds of Isabella upstairs. _Thank god she's okay, I hate that I can't see her…._

_Edward, you must know that this is all just a huge misunderstanding. _

_God, you're such a self serving ass! Calling us to come all the way back home for someone else's problem. So what, she almost died. It's her fault!_

_This is not going to turn out well. Calm down, before I make the whole room attack each other. _

_I haven't seen him fired up like this about something in a long time. Man, the look on his face is scary. I hope Rose can keep her mouth shut tonight. I don't have enough energy to deal with this. If only I could have drank that last bear. _

"Please, one at a time!" I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose.

Esme stepped forward then, looking concerned.

"Edward dear, I promise I told Lisa about the treaty after that man was attacked." Esme explained, looking up at the ceiling. "Is she alright? Does she need anything?"

But I couldn't answer, my anger taking over me. It wasn't my family's innocent mistake that almost took Isabella's life; it was intentional from the horrible woman who was like her mother.

_This isn't my fault. This isn't my fault. I didn't know she was going to almost be killed by them. It's Bella's fault really, if she hadn't been acting like such a child she would've known. _

When the woman appeared at the top of the stairs, lost in her own thoughts, I was instantly in her face. I gripped her shoulders tightly, pushing her against the wall.

"You didn't tell her?" I yelled at her furiously. "She could've died because of you!"

"I don't need to explain myself to you!" Lisa hissed, throwing my arms off her. "It's her fault anyway; she's been nothing but a ghost the past few weeks!"

"That's the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard!" I snarled, punching the wall behind her.

Carlisle appeared beside me grabbing my arm to stop me from doing anymore damage.

"Edward you must calm down." He said in a commanding tone, but I was too far gone.

She could've been killed just because that woman was too busy holding a grudge over stupid matters!

I threw Carlisle arm off, and pinned Lisa against the wall.

"This isn't some silly game that you can laugh off." I growled, glaring at her menacingly. "We could all potentially be in danger now because of your petty grudges! God, I'm amazed Isabella's lasted this long under your care!"

She snarled then pushing me away from her. "I will not have you judge me on one mistake! It's mainly Bella's fault, for not growing up and dealing with life! She hides from everyone, she pushes everyone away! It's time I be tough on her, she needs to grow up!"

All I could see was red; I was no longer in control of my actions. Just as I was about to attack her, I felt someone grip me tightly, pushing me down onto the staircase. I was surprised when I saw Emmett's mind looking at my back as he held me down.

I felt my anger start to disappear instantly, my body feeling calm.

"Jasper stop it!" I hissed, trying my best to resist his power.

"Edward, calm down! " Emmett ordered, pinning me against the floor harder. "She's not even worth it, dude!"

I growled, pushing against him, as I turned to face Lisa again.

"You're heartless." I screamed. "It doesn't surprise me that she pushes everyone away! She more then deserves to feel the way she does! She's trying to protect the people she cares about, and if you can't see that, I don't know what to tell you!"

Lisa laughed at me, rolling her eyes. "You don't know anything, you-"

She was cut off, by someone delicately clearing their throat in the second floor hallway.

Isabella was looking at the scene in front of her with wide eyes, the blanket still wrapped around her small body.

"Actually, he does seem to know more then you, Lisa." Isabella said in a weary voice, fidgeting with the blanket.

"Bella-" Lisa began sounding shocked.

Isabella held up her hand to stop her, and looked towards my family, who I now realized were gathered around me.

"Can we please just get to the real problem here?" She asked in a pleading tone.

"Of course, dear." Esme answered, walking up to Isabella, and putting her arm around her shoulders. "Let's get you cleaned up first."

"Come on Edward," Emmett muttered, picking me up off the ground. "I think you should not come back until they're gone."

He turned us both around, still keeping a tight grip on me, as we walked down the stairs.

Just as he was about to force me out the front door, I heard the sweetest voice call for Emmett to wait.

**

* * *

**

I'll update again soon, thanks for reading!

**I don't own anything! No copyright infringement was intended!**


	9. Lost Year

**Are you shocked? It finally didn't take me a million years to get another chapter up! Yay! This would've been up earlier if this stupid writer didn't over think too much and wasn't somewhat of a perfectionist! Damn my crazy mind! **

**Anyway I never did get a chance to thank all of you lovely reviewers! I was more excited when I read all my reviews and saw all of my hits, then I was when the new season of The Vampire Diaries started. Sorry I never got the chance to respond to you all :/**

**I hope you like this next chapter, I promise that in another two to three weeks the next chapter will be up! **

_

* * *

_

If a talk could really solve this, What are we fighting for?

Words hurt more then they arm us, Don't say anymore, Anymore

'Cause nothings a breeze, We suffer we bleed

For two hearts to beat as one, We learn as we go

At least now we know, Something we can't become

Become.

MuteMath- Lost Year

**Goodbye, Apathy Chapter 9: Lost year**

**Bella's POV**

I woke up on something soft that smelled like the most beautiful scent and leather. My body was wrapped in a blanket, and dim light was coming from somewhere beside me. I could hear voices downstairs, but I blocked them out in my daze. I closed my eyes again, rolling over on my side; breathing in the scent that I now recognized was Edwards. I felt weird doing so, but something about it just seemed to calm me.

It was then I realized that I had no clue where I was. I now could make out the voices speaking, and the high tone scared me. I quickly sat up, bringing the blanket with me, and made my way towards the cracked door.

"_That's the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard!" _I heard Edward's voice scream at someone, before it sounded like someone punching into a solid object.

My stomach turned instantly as I gripped onto the door frame tightly. If I were whoever he was screaming at, I would've been terrified.

"_Edward you must calm down." _Carlisle told him as I listened curiously.

"_This isn't some silly game that you can laugh off. We could all potentially be in danger now because of your petty grudges! God, I'm amazed Isabella's lasted this long under your care!"_

Isabella? It clicked then that he was defending me. I was astonished; sure he had saved me and obviously taken care of me tonight, but defending me? I had thought he hated me.

I then realized that the ending of his tirade didn't make any sense. _He was amazed that I lasted this long under someone's care?_

I gasped, when I heard the next voice shriek back at him.

"_I will not have you judge me on one mistake! It's mainly Bella's fault, for not growing up and dealing with life! She hides from everyone, she pushes everyone away! It's time I be tough on her, she needs to grow up!"_

My mouth dropped open, my blood running cold. I felt as I my body slowly fell to the ground, my hand sliding down the door frame, still gripping tightly.

I was in shock, I felt like my breath had been knocked out of me. She was punishing me? But what was my punishment?

I analyzed what they had said in the past few moments carefully.

"_We could all potentially be in danger now because of your petty grudges!"_

"_I will not have you judge me on one mistake!"_

It was then that it dawned on me what was going on. I thought back the night I had almost killed Mike, and the note Lisa had left me. She had written that she had talked things over with Esme. Had Esme told her something she didn't to tell me?

I put together the word's Edward had spoke in the forest about us all being in danger, and it just all seemed to match up. Lisa had knew about the treaty line and never told me.

It was her fault that I was almost killed tonight. I couldn't even describe the pain I felt when I realized how much she had betrayed me.

I could feel my tears building up, but I held them in. I would not cry over this! If she wished to ruin everything we had, and loose all my respect, that was fine!

I sighed in defeat when I thought about my behavior lately. Was I the one who ruined it first? Maybe it really was my fault?

The sounds of more yelling brought me back out of my haze once again.

"_Edward, calm down! She's not even worth it, dude!" _Emmett's voice ordered, booming through the house.

Without another thought, I slowly made my way down the hall. I knew that I had to stop this. It didn't matter what Lisa did, I wouldn't let her be harmed.

"_You're heartless. It doesn't surprise me that she pushes everyone away! She more then deserves to feel the way she does! She's trying to protect the people she cares about, and if you can't see that, I don't know what to tell you!"_

I stopped dead at the bottom of the third floor staircase when I heard Edward's words.

How did he know that much about me, when the person closest to me couldn't even see it? When he didn't even know me?

The strange relief I felt was astounding and strange at the same time. Part of me was happy that finally someone understood how I felt, but the other half was confused by how he knew so much. None of the Cullen's knew my life before Forks, so how did he? He seemed to hate me with a passion, so why was he down there defending me?

More important matters took away my musing, and I shocked when I came upon the scene in front of me.

Edward was being pinned to the staircase by Emmett, the rest of his family surrounding him. Lisa was standing close to the wall behind her, with what looked like an imprint of a fist in it. Edward was glowering at her so fiercely that it made my skin crawl.

I watched in horror as Lisa laughed in his face. "You don't know anything, you-"

I quietly cleared my throat then, getting the attention of everyone below me. Everyone watching me made me extremely nervous; but I tired my best to stay strong, turning my gaze to Lisa.

"Actually, he does seem to know more then you, Lisa." I told her, my voice sounding uneasy.

She looked at me in utter amazement for a moment. "Bella-"

I knew I didn't have it in me to argue with her, so I held my hand up, and looked towards the Cullen's instead.

"Can we please just get to the real problem here?" I pleaded.

Everyone was silent just staring at me, until Esme answered me.

"Of course, dear." She said, looking worried.

She gracefully made her way over to me, and softly put a comforting arm around my shoulder.

"Let's get you cleaned up first." She suggested, making me cringe at the thought of my appearance.

I took great comfort in her compassionate behavior, leaning in towards her, and letting her guide me down the hall.

"_Come on Edward, I think you should not come back until they're gone." _I heard Emmett mutter, making me stop instantly.

My heart skipped a quick beat as I turned away from Esme and ran down the stairs.

"Emmett, wait!" I called just as he was about to push Edward out the front door.

Emmett turned around, looking confused, as a very irate Edward stood stiff in his grasp.

"Please don't make him leave." I bagged Emmett before anyone could speak. "If anyone should leave it's us. This is my fault anyway-"

"Isabella, its fine really, I need to calm down." Edward told me, cutting off my rambling.

I turned to look at him, taking in his stern form. His eyes were still wild, but there was something in the way he held his jaw that told me I could break his resolve.

I sighed at him, shaking my head. "Please Edward, you are more aware of what happened tonight then I am."

My eyes met his for only a moment, before he sighed and looked away towards Emmett.

"I can handle myself now." Edward muttered to him, but Emmett wasn't paying any attention.

Instead he was looking at me, his mouth wide open. Edward ignored him, and moved gracefully out of his grip, glaring at him.

He looked at me frowning, as he ran his hand through his hair delicately. A slight smile graced my face when I was about to thank him, but Edward looked away towards the staircase.

Confused I turned around, just as he started to growl. Everyone had gathered at the bottom of the stairs, watching us with a mix of shock and confusion on their expressions. My eye's flickered to Lisa's for a moment, feeling a pang in my chest from the look of hurt gracing it.

"You can all stop staring at us now." Edward muttered, glowering at them all, before walking away out the glass doors in the back.

I watched him until he had disappeared, praying he would be back.

The whole room was still staring at me when I turned around, looking perplexed for some reason.

Rosalie was the first to move, as she flipped her blonde hair behind her shoulder, and stormed down the stairs. She gave me a furious glare as she passed, Emmett following behind her.

Alice then gracefully moved towards me, smiling lightly. "Just ignore her."

I nodded, gripping the blanket tighter around me, trying to calm my nerves. Esme appeared behind Alice, looking at me sympathetically. I could see Carlisle leading Lisa down the hall over Esme's shoulder, making my guilt increase.

"Come on dear," Esme said softly, wrapping her arm around my shoulder once again.

* * *

The sounds of booming thunder in the distance sang as I stepped down the stairs. I looked over the railing finding everyone excluding Edward, gathered around the living room, talking rapidly.

"We're mainly going to have to ask each of them what happened." I heard Carlisle explain to the group from his place in front of the coffee table. "From there we can decide what the best way to handle this is."

I watched as Rosalie moved forward in her chair, scoffing. "Carlisle, I don't see why we all have to be involved. It's her problem let her deal with it."

Carlisle leaned towards looking, giving her a stern look. "Rosalie we are a family, and we will stick together as one and help her. This isn't just about her; it involves all of us now."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, looking at Jasper who was in the next chair; Alice perched on his arm rest.

Carlisle sighed as Esme walked forward placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I expect all of you to treat Bella well," Esme ordered in a firm tone. "Edward is backing her, and I trust his judgment."

The room went still; the only sound was another scoff from Rosalie.

"Yes Esme, lets discuss Edward complete three sixty," Rosalie hissed bitterly. "What the hell is up with him?"

Before anyone could answer, Emmett walked forward from his spot at the glass wall that he had been leaning on.

"You guys do know that Bella is standing on the stair's listening to you all guys, right?" Emmett asked, his face filled with amusement as he and the rest of the family looked up at me.

My whole face turned red from being caught, and without a world, I slowly made my way down to the stair landing. I was met with a few nervous smiles, a glare from Rosalie, and Emmett's still amused smile.

Carlisle advanced towards me, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry Bella, please join us."

I ambled down to him, smiling faintly.

"Esme, would you please go get Lisa so we can start?" He asked, smiling once more at me before heading back to talk strategy with Jasper.

Emmett walked towards me, smiling hugely. "Just ignore them." He whispered, bumping my shoulder with his massive one, making me stumble.

"Whoa, don't fall now." He laughed as he steadied me.

"Emmett!" Rosalie hissed from her chair, glaring at him.

"Coming, babe," He smirked, before turning to me again. "Don't worry; I'll take care of those wolves."

He fixed his huge mussels, winking at me before walking to his mate, who hit him upside the head.

I stood there with a weary smile; fidgeting with the oversized sky blue sweater I had barrowed from Esme. I was secretly praying for Edward to show up. I didn't know why the sudden need for him was so strong, but I felt empty without him beside me to save me. He was the only one that would make them believe me, without him I was going to fail.

I caught Alice's eye, and she gave me an encouraging smile. She gracefully bounded towards me, catching me off guard when she pulled me into a hug.

"You look better," She complimented, when we pulled apart. "Sorry about the clothes though, I know they're too big."

"It's alright, they're not wet." I smiled, before looking down at my feet again, frowning. "Alice, do you know if this will all turn out alright."

She sighed, making me look up. "When I try and look for them everything's just blank!" She explained looking annoyed. "It's kind of like when I look for your future, except with you everything's just really fuzzy. With them it's nothing! I'm starting to think I'm losing my gift."

"Can that happen?"

She shook her head, smiling sadly. "We don't know."

Just as I was about to ask more, Esme walked down with Lisa next to her. I looked away quickly, avoiding their gaze's. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to her.

They both sat down on the couch, and Alice left me appearing back on the arm rest of Jasper's chair.

"Alright," Carlisle sighed, standing up straight and turning around to face me. "Bella, would you please tell us what occurred tonight."

Once again I found all eyes on me, my nervousness coming back. I knew now that no matter how much I wished for it to happen, Edward wasn't going to show up.

I nodded at Carlisle, trying to breathe easily.

Just when I was about to start, the front door opened, revealing a slightly wet Edward.

**

* * *

**

Edward's POV

Pure idiocy had brought me back to the spot I was currently standing in. Against what I knew was right, what I knew should happen, here I was walking back up the path to the house. I knew that once I walked into that house, I would lose every shred of sanity I had built up. The questioning thoughts and glances I had gotten before I left, was enough to tell me that I was going to have a lot to explain to my family.

Coming back here meant hurting them, it meant questions I couldn't answer, thought's I couldn't confirm. I was basically setting myself up for disaster, but for some reason once she asked me to stay I didn't care. I just knew that I had to protect her.

I kept trying to remind myself that I didn't have to protect her anymore. It wasn't my place even before, and now it was even less. There was something though that was just skimming the surface that told me that there was more to this then old feelings just reappearing.

I took a useless deep breath, before I ran to the front door and opened it up. Everyone's gaze turned to me for a moment before they all turned back to stare at Isabella. Her eyes stayed on me a moment longer though, relief clear in her features, before she took a deep breath and turned to face everyone.

But before she could even begin Alice let out a straggled gasp, and I immediately went to her mind.

The vision was blurry as it was, but it was clearly all of us in the room excluding Isabella. One moment Carlisle was talking and the next it was nothing but darkness. Everything was blank; it was as if all of our features had disappeared.

"It's gone!" Alice cried dropping to the floor, and rubbing her temples. _Focus, come on… Damn it nothing! This has never happened before! What's wrong with me?_

"Alice, what's going on?" I asked, moving so I was kneeling down in front of her.

"If I knew I wouldn't be freaking out right now! " She hissed at me before trying again.

I backed up then, Jasper taking my place. "Alice, tell us what's going on!" He said in commanding tone, removing her hands from her face.

She looked up at him, her chin trembling. "All of our futures disappear in the next few minutes, and I don't know why! It's just like the wolves except it's ours."

It all came into place in the next moment, when I caught three minds five miles away.

_Remember guys, we kill the creature no matter what! If any of them get in our way, take them right along with her!_

I growled when the three wolves thoughts turned to a picture of Isabella's face. They were going to try to kill her!

"Edward, what is it?" Carlisle asked urgently, just as a loud howl reached all of our ears.

**

* * *

**

Tell me what you thought if you get the chance! Thanks for reading

!

**I don't own anything! No copyright infringement was intended!**


	10. Authors Note!

**Quick Authors Note**

**You've all probably been wondering what happened to me! Sorry I didn't keep up with updates like a planed to. A lot has been going on in my personal life, and most of the time I've just been to upset or distracted to write. It just hasn't been in me as of late, but I'm missing it and my plan is to start the next chapter this week. I've been into fan fic for almost two years now and I also just needed a break. **

**But I'm back, hope your all doing well! **

**Thanks for those of you who still want to read!**

**Lexl23-MrsEdwardCullen :)**


End file.
